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Judy Blume in the twilight hours, Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing while sipping cheap red wine from a chipped mug with the words "MANNA FROM HEAVEN" printed along the side. The Swan Princess has heard it said that red wine is good for the heart, and though she pays little heed to the self-serving assertions of the medical industry, with its dark allegiance to pharmaceutical phantasmagoria and its sublimated ecclesiastical narrow-mindedness, in this case she was forced to concede that, yes, red wine was certainly good for the heart, though not necessarily in the way the mad scientists meant it. As the murky liquid slid down her throat she could feel an inner warmth radiating from behind her breastbone, which soon expanded to engulf her entire abdomen and subsequently, in no particular order, her awkward arms, skinny legs, frazzled fingers and stubby toes, saturating her body with a tingling sensation not unlike what one may very well experience whilst skinny dipping in a natural hot spring, or so the Swan Princess strained to imagine. She lay lodged in a mound of dirty clothes, sinking deeper at a nearly imperceptible rate, a somewhat inopportune position for holding a book in one hand and her crimson indulgence in the other, and while turning a yellowing page the mug jerked, letting slip a single drop of wine, a drop which plummeted through the microcosmic stratosphere of her personal space and splashed on her pristine white T-shirt, populous toga of the American Empire, with black text across the front which read "TALES OF AN UNDERGRAD NOTHING," another stain on the heart passing unnoticed by the Swan Princess, engrossed as she was in a distorted mirror showing her either herself or everything else.

Posted by James Bradley on 11/17/12

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