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Steve-O had a tube up his butt there!

                                 To be read after "What did 50 Cent just say" for continuity in -- "96hrs. to L.A. and back"!

  After we passed by the passed out Dyrdek and friend, "What did they have anyway....... who the fu*k knows or cares" this place reminded me more of my older brothers Fraternity House.  There were what we call in Australia the "piss-heads" in here ,all failed party-goers, too much fun is never enough for some and these were only a small group of these unfortunate sods, as they are really gonna miss the BEST part of this party now, and the Party and the drugs are certainly heading the three of us in that direction!

 The MDMA we all had earlier has still not "peaked out" yet and we're all feel'in really good, and this is the point, NONE of us have had a drop of alcohol, all we've had is H2o and the "ladies" had a orange juice with soda, orange juice is too acidic for me so i had a cloudy apple juice,........ anytime you can take vitamin C in a drink like the ones we've had, will prolong the MDMA as the vitamin C and the "Eccy" combine in away which somehow enhance the delivery mechanism within the brain and a prolongation of sensation occurs.

 I shouldn't say this place reminded me of my older brother's Fraternity House, SEEING Dyrdek passed out there really is what reminded me of the Tau Kappa Epsilon Fraternity House my brother was a member of at a University in Ohio. This place was just as elaborate and well appointed as all the other places i had seen on the property which at this point really wasn't many. We were on a "mission" and as we headed upstairs to get a better or should i say a more "panoramic" perpective of who was below us and maybe the best way to navigate around or through the throng of people, the word must of gotten out as this place is starting to rage all around us as whipping by us down the flight of stairs was that fat kid from that television series which fired "GOOD OLE' CHARLIE SHEEN", that's right "Two and a half men",..........."What the fu*k is that little prick doing here"?

 "Who gives a FU*K!,.......... i didn't, but i'm glad i saw him for one reason and one reason only and that was that it reminded me that i still had probably a quarter ounce of the "good ole' Charlie Sheen" which i had brought with me just in case,................ and that case was close!

 Then a brunette with her tits flopping out of her top came charging down the stairs,......... the three of us back up and looked at each other and begin to crack up as this "sheila" was completely unaware of what was happening obviously or couldn't of given a sh*t, probably the latter there for sure, i mean it was only her tits flopp'in out, hell it's not like she was showing everyone her "beaver", although i wouldn't of been bothered or complained if she had,........ that's alright by me feel free, ............if she was feeling "compelled" to show me the "beav" oh well, gee that's REALLY gonna put me off partying NOT!!

 We don't head out to the verandah like i thought we were going to, instead Sonya takes us up to the very top of the building which has a "widow's walk" on the top. A very unique "widow's walk" as it's much broader than a usual one which is good for us as we now have the ultimate viewpoint to look for the nimble octagenarian Hef, who's bound to be the center of the action where-ever he is!

 This is a good time right about now to roll up a "Charlie Sheen" splifter, we're the only ones here of course and this locality allows us to look at everyone below and the musical entertainment at several venues on the grounds with the closest to us being Jon Mayer, figure he'd be fu*k'in here, not one of my favorite celebs by any means, but i'm not watching him...... fu*khead, i just wanna roll this doobie and come to some kind of level in my head, as the day had been very long for me at this point and i was not about to quit this, it was just that i needed to buzz-out abit with the "lovely ladies", what was going on down below could wait another fifteen minutes, what harm could that do?

 I can see from my vantage point that idiot Jacka*s Johnny Knoxville, now there's a total fu*kstick, i wouldn't go near that dude if you paid me, although HE would probably like the James Joyce book i have back where i'm staying, WE ALL KNOW Johnny like's the anal humor........... Christ i couldn't believe what the fu*k they show on that movie, people pretending to be volcano's and shitting an eruption! are you fu*k'in kidding me, since when does this pass for being funny, it's disgusting, and seeing Steve-O down below having a rubber tube up his rectum and "swallowing" a two litre jug of beer while people laugh and applaud as if it's the greatest thing they've ever witnessed! "What the hell", i'm sure as fu*k NO conservative Christian but i would think that this is really not quite acceptable behaviour except to the most deviant and perverse umongst us, people like Charles Ng and Leonard Lake, sicko's like this are people who'd think Knoxville's humour is funny! 


Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/30/12 | tags: steve-o had a tube up his butt there James DeWeaver australian generation x artist johnny knoxville #realjknoxville

What did "50 Cent" just say to me?

                                               To be read after "Robert Downey Jr. asked me?" for continuity.

 I decide to attack this problem of not being able to find Hef from a whole new angle and ask Sonya if we can get up somewehere above the crowd to see if we can catch an eye on the elusive Hef, if he's out here we should be able to see as i look up and point to the verandah on the second floor to Sonya .......she agree's and the three of us continue on our mission and as we do Richie Sambora from Bon Jovi, the very band which Wayne Isham did video's for and now he's here aswell,.......which thinking about it is no real surprise, he and Heather Locklear are no longer an item, he's a "Rock Star" with heaps of money should be no problem locating some quim here for ole' Richie i'd say, his two aren't as nice as mine though as he does take some notice as he rubbernecks passed the three of us, Sonya and Meredith were "Stunners" and Richie like any good dog could clearly see that!

 We get to the entrance of the building which is not the Mansion but an additional building/area for entertaining and the place is "completely chockers" ,full house big time, i'm thinking to myself and ask Sonya "what's going on in here any idea"?, she's got no idea so we begin again to make our way through pretty heavy going, there's Ben Folds and Beck having a chat or atleast trying to and that rather slutty American Actress Jennifer Tilley is here, she wore an outfit that really makes her look like a streetwalker tonight i can tell you, ............ she really is what's called in Australia an"old Shagger"!

 Meredith see's a good friend of her's from College and want's to go over and talk to her quickly, i've got no problems at all with that so we head over,.... she recognizes Meredith as her attention is diverted from this guy who had his head turned away from our direction, it wasn't until but three feet away the recognition of the guy hit home....."it was Fifty Cent, what's Fifty Cent doing here?take that back, man i take that back, looking at this fine honey colored angel he's talking to i know what he's doing here, as would any red blooded man with a pulse, and that was to be here tonight, there was atleast two to one girls to guys ratio tonight and clearly ole' Fifty heard the "call of the wild" and couldn't help himself!

 We only briefly talked......... i really had a hard time understanding him mumble, it may of been the "Ebonics" or something, but i have to say one thing here and now........... this guy may have tons of money but in reality is an under-educated thug who struck it lucky, he's had very good business advice from what i understand, i.e Vitamin water, which more importantly he's taken and has done well from those investments and diversified but still, just a product of a poor father-less ghetto upbringing and as i say, "you can take 50 out of the Ghetto, but ya can't take the Ghetto out a 50"!

 I want to move on PRONTO, this guy's starting to mumble way too much for me and it really becomes a task to interpret what the fu*k he's say'in so we jet as fast as we can past some totally legless and passed-out dude,.......Rob Dyrdek, a pro-skater apparently and (un-tripmanure, that's the way 50 Cent said "Entrepeneur"), now that's what i call "hardcore" passing-out at the Playboy Mansion at the "Save the Hollywood sign" Fundraiser, way too fu*king go Rob!. He may of been just tired and the half naked chick passed out on top of the guy,........funny as sh*t!, i took a couple of photo's for the hell of it, i'll e-mail them to him at a later date!



Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/29/12 | tags: what did 50 cent just say to me James DeWeaver australian generation x artist rob dyrdeck 50 cent #50cent #robdyrdek

Robert Downey Jr. asked me?

                                        To be read after "Shannon Tweed's see through top" for continuity.

  We'd only begun to hit the fringe of the real party-goers, it was still early and i'm starting to think the four of us together is abit of overkill, so i'm thinking of making it just a threesome and dropping of Sunshine with some unsuspecting partier!

 I see a guy with long blonde hair just coming back from this enormous buffet which has been laid out,(now i know why Rollin's is food!) he's got a pair of black sunglasses on and it's one thirty in the morning, he's totally cool! We stroll on over to him as he walks backs by himself through the crowd and i can't begin tell you exactly what i said to him, not that i don't want to tell you it's just i was fairly blitzed, but he had a big smile on his face after i had finished, a very stoked guy who was also in fact a very interesting person in the real world as i soon was to find out!

 I had no idea who he was when we first spotted him, but like most people here, Wayne was no recognizable celebrity, but he did work with alot of celebrities and knew most of them.

 Wayne Isham (pronounced eye-sham) was his name, and happened to be a very well known music video Director from the eighties really, Bon Jovi was the main band that Wayne did video's for, but he also did the AHA video, "Take on me" and created that form of animation which is seen in the video called "Ishamation".

 Sunshine's was totally in her element with Wayne who'd arrived "solo", and as we say goodbye to them both, we begin to shuffle our way through the denser and denser crowd, which from ground level you couldn't really tell how many people were here but there were sh*tloads!

 Who'd of thought that so many people wanted to save the "Hollywood"sign!

 NOT ME!, all these people were just here to party their butts off and meet really cool and interesting types, as there's a real variety of Artists present, not Artists like myself just Artist's in general, Writers, Poets,Thinkers, Playwrights, Directors, Visual Artists, Musicians, models, Photographers, creating a small but well connected group of modern day Bohemians which now had the oppurtunity to interact and form new contacts and maybe ultimately create or do something from this moment of intellectual "serendipity"!

 Wayne had told us before we left the two of them that Hef wasn't anywhere near the buffet, and he last saw Hef in a direction he pointed to, that was it, that was all we had so we began to slowly extricate ourselves from the mass of bodies, but the Playmate's are ALL OVER THE JOINT and love to grind which is fine by me as i'm really in no hurry, we just gotta find Hef and we're good to go then, bring it fu*k'in on i say the sooner the better!

 Robert Downey Jr. was just about to pass by when he looked right at me and asked me "How did i get so lucky?" and before i had a chance to reply he was already passed us in this deluge of humans moving in various directions,"that was weird, what exactly did he mean"?

 I didn't see him at all again the rest of the night, but he was right,.... i was sure fu*k'in lucky sport'in these two babes, my "companions", must of been Robert hadn't been so lucky and wanted to get in on my action, i never would of let him of course, i couldn't of given a fu*k who he was or is, the truth is if i had too, i would've slammed him if he'd of tried!

 That's important, treat these Celebrities just like anyone else, if your cool with them and aren't a "brown-noser"you'll get some respect, but if they show no respect to you, never show respect to them, "Act like an AS*HOLE, then you get treated like an AS*HOLE" is a good rule to go by with Celebrities!




Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/28/12 | tags: Robert Downey Jr. asked me James DeWeaver australian generation x artist wayne isham bon jovi #RobertJrDowney

Shannon Tweed's see through top!

                                     To be read after "I thought he was Chuck Norris" for continuity.

 Having Sonya there made everything just gel, when i was talking to people like Jean-Paul she'd just talk to the partner and in Jean-Paul's case his wife, it was easy for her as they both had been Playmates and could've probably spoken forever but she was mindful that i was there to mingle and meet people and would happily move from wherever we were to somewhere else if i'd wanted to.

 My main priority at this point was to catch up with Hef, when your at the Playboy Mansion it would only be common sense to do this first, so i let Sonya know we gotta find Hef -she agree'd with me on that, the only problem is we didn't know where he was exactly so we'd have to wander around and mingle until we could find him.

 We head outside  to the large marquee's which are set up and there are TONS of people out here, well atleast many many more than are inside. I start to recognize some of the "new" Hollywood and the "old" Hollywood, i don't know their names in some cases like that guy from Spiderman, Toby something or other i think,well he was there talking with Tom Cruise's ex-wife, didn't know her name but Sonya helped fill in the blank, ya see i'm not really big on this corporate movie actor situation which has been going on, so i don't really ever see these insipid creations modelled to entertain the most stupid people in the culture in many cases, as then it will also appeal apparently to kids, who always love to see adults act like retards and are then mocked and riddiculed by their "on-screen actor children", and then when these little kids have seen "this" actor child do it on the movie screen and can't differentiate reality and fiction it then becomes o.k. for them to act like this in real life to their real parents,......... why not, everyone laughed inside the theatre when it happened didn't they, huh and we wonder why children today have little to no respect for anyone other than themselves. If it were possible to have a more self-centered and selfish generation than the "Baby Doomers" i would of thought not possible, but it's become apparent they've past these genes on through to the next generation.

 I've got no real desire to talk to people who i've little or no respect for here at the "Fundraiser" tonight and i made that perfectly clear to Sonya earlier on. I have standards as all of us do, and i'm not here to entertain i'm here for fun, as i see to my immediate left a group sittting down and are all focused on one particular person, that being a Mr.Henry Rollins, "Now there's someone i'd listen to, when Henry speaks people listen, why's that?

 Mr. Rollins is as straight forward as it gets when it comes to talking the true, high speed low bullsh*t factor truth straight up!

When it comes to Henry and him telling the truth i think this is one of his greatest personality assets which i can relate to very much and appreciate it aswell. Now here's one dude(Henry wouldn't like me calling him a dude, but i'm being respectful about it!) who's seen the "real world" unlike many others, growing up in D.C., seeing his good friend getting shot in the head by the Police, being at the epicentre of the American Punk scene when there WAS a Punk scene, he watched Independent Record labels get swallowed up by the Corporations, which at last put the final nail in the coffin for the independents and any really creative musical acts and genius musicians who were ahead of their time) i'd stop and listen to him but Sonya's caught her eye on Hef who's somewhere i didn't catch, but i did catch Hallie Berry, what a "Glamour" she was,... not that young anymore and has had acouple of pups but can still "SCHWING",....... hey Gene Simmons from KISS and Shannon Tweed, who still was sporting if i don't says so myself just a huge set of juggs with nipples poking,... the see through top "highlighted" them superbly, no surprise there as Shannon was a Playmate aswell back in the eighties, her picture "SPREAD" with bush was back in the tunnel, but i have to say that Gene Simmons looked truly awful, white as a ghost with dyed black hair and the worst plastic looking facelift since Liza Minelli's Ex David Guest "horror face"-just a shocker-! 

Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/26/12 | tags: shannon tweed's see through top James DeWeaver australian generation x artist playboy hefner henry rollins hallie berry

I thought he was Chuck Norris!

                                   To be read after "Ferris Bueller wouldn't even know" for continuity.

 We get up the landing steps to what looks to me like some sort of maze as there are three directions to go and according to Sonya each will take you to a different part of the mansion, and as we were going to where the "Fundraiser" was going on we needed to go left.

 This labyrinth of underground elaborate tunnels was truly something to wonder at, as these are the same types of tunnels that dictators like Ghaddafi and Saddam Hussein had underneath their Mansions aswell, but i'm sure they didn't have what was all along these walls that's for sure, minge from end to end, the "ladies" could care less their not offended or bothered in anyway by the "Art" either am i it's totally eye-popping!

 As these are secret tunnels and exits we want to come out as close to the party as possible without giving away the location on what the outside would NOT see as an exit and then possibly giving away it's "secret" location. Sonya decides that we'll exit inside the reading room as this would not be a place where any of the people there would likely be. Sure enough when we get to the "jump off" point no one is there and we open the door and find ourselves inside a very elaborate and incredibly well appointed vast library, with works which were to good or too valuable to have in the house i was staying at without a doubt, i saw an original Gutenberg printed manuscript by the man himself, the man credited for the printing press! We stay a mere few seconds and then head out the door into a darkened corridor which leads us to the cacophony and bright lights of the Fundraiser.

 We get some water and mingle around and strike-up conversations with almost anyone, this was like eveyone dropped their external fake image of themselves (ego) and was just basically themselves apart from only a few exceptions i was to find out during the night!

 I was not the only "NON CELEBRITY" there aswell, i met a guy named Jean-Paul and his super glamourous wife who's name i no longer can remember but she was a total honey AND a former Playboy bunny twenty odd years ago hence her being here tonight with her husband Jean-Paul. We had a really cool talk about many many topics all of which he was exceptionally well informed on all of them as far as i was concerned, he was if you just looked at him nothing special, looked abit like Chuck Norris to me that's why i initially went over to talk to him...........your not about to recognize him if you saw him but guess what, Jean-Paul just happens to be THE GUY behind the Paul Mitchell brand of all kinds of hair products and is worth many BILLIONS, and to top it off, when he found out how long i was in town for and what i did for a living, aswell as why i had been invited to the "Fundraiser", he and his wife then invited me to come over to their Malibu place and have lunch and maybe have a look at a space on the wall which they haven't quite been able to come to an agreement on, what should go there basically and maybe i could perhaps do something for the space, cool, no worries, i couldn't believe it another possible commission and an invite to another over the top billionaires Mansion, all twelve thousand square feet of it if my memory serves me correctly,.....unreal.... the day before i leave is when i go to see Mr. J.P. Dejoria and his wife!

Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/24/12 | tags: jean paul dejoria australian generation x artist James DeWeaver i thought he was chuck norris

Ferris Bueller wouldn't even know!

                                           To be read after "Why was Fred Durst there" for continuity.

  It's not long before we see another monorail car heading towards us on the track next to ours, didn't recognize any of them,.... the redhead in the g-string bikini was quite impressive though and VERY memorable!

 We soon get to the "station" we needed to get off at although there were tracks leading further along, these would remain a mystery for now, this place could be like the underground in Paris, where you can go below ground and wander around the sub-terranean tunnels and catacombs which are as old as Paris, a totally wild time and if you ever get the oppurtunity to have a look- only with a good guide though- then go for it, just like i'm doing now with Sonya and the two tag alongs.

  Sonya is my key too not being looked at all night like i'm someone suss or out of i would be,  these people are way out of my league i'll be the very first, second and third to tell you that, but I was here as an Invited guest, and i had my very own special little Playboy pin with a diamond eye as subtle proof to any security that i was in fact a guest and NOT to be hassled. In the end it was better for me that i wasn't a recognised "Celebrity" as i was later to find out all through the night!

We have to go through a similar glass door arrangement and inside to my left i see a Playboy with what looks like to me atleast Arabic writing underneath the Playboy Brand, i ask Sonya about this and it is the version which is sold in places like Iran and Saudi Arabia, "no shit i had no clue about that, i would of thought something like this would be a good enough cause to get a Mullah revved up enough too get the secret Police to "disappear" the most unfortunate person getting caught with it!

 I've been to this region of the world, which country will remain anonymous for now as i'd like to be able to return someday, but in short i was staying along the coast in a rather large modern city in a high rise building five star hotel, a safe place for foreigners no fu*k'in doubt as this one morning i was woken by what sounded to me atleast like a riot of some kind going on not far from my building, i got out of bed proceeded to put some more clothes on and grab my video camera to see if i could film anything interesting, like maybe a riot!

 It wasn't a riot at all in the end, i slowly opened my door to my verandah and crouched down as low as i could to avoid detection for any on-lookers and slowly bellied out to a point where i could see something i would never forget!

 It was a large angry crowd alright,-- three maybe four hundred men and little kids mainly and they all encircled three men who clearly had their hands taped or bound atleast and were the center of THIS MOB'S anger, the Police were there aswell and were mere observers to what was about to take place.

 These three men were lead, as they were all either beaten up or drugged, something, but they arrived at a flat concrete circle right near the waterside, a very large concrete cirle maybe twenty five meter radius in clear view to the public or ANYONE like myself who was yet to see what Sharia Law does to it's criminals!

 They were placed in the center of this described circle and forced to kneel upon which EVERYONE cleared the circle, an Arena it now had become and the blood thirsty viewers all had their front row seats awaiting the "kick off", and they weren't long disappointed.

A large white limousine slowly pulls up from nowhere as i'm videoing this and am totally focused on this action. I focus on this car to what this has to do with this and as i do i see through my video display a really tall Negro man get out with a reeeaaaallllyyyyy fu*k'in long sword, it was probably about four feet long for my guess-timation, and it wasn't really until i saw him walk through a very quickly parting crowd that his true giant size became apparent. He was a very black black negro man i have no idea about him other than this, he was ATLEAST seven feet tall, as he was atleast two feet taller than ANYONE in this entire crowd and i've got the video to prove it. He' dress entirely in white, and a white head piece and a long sword which every now and then catches the sun and flickers it's brilliant light my way.

 He eventually arrives at the centre of the circle, by now these three are seperated by about five feet or so and all of them have their hands behind their back with their heads bend down. The crowd has gone silent upon this man arrival and there's very good reason for which which all about to seeing in an archaic form of justice in the modern day atleast as seen by a Westerner.

 This big negro man proceeded to circle them one time and then arrive to a stopping point behind the first of his duties. He lifted the sword one time vertically then very slowly tapped on the doomed mans right shoulder on which this man quickly lifted his head up and in one clear swoop with this giant negro's sword it was FU*KING OFF, body went one way with blood just flowing out and the head unded up about three feet away...........some fu*k'in way to start the new day.

  How many people reading this now knew that Playboy was sold in markets like the ones i've mentioned .............anyone.............anyone............Bueller...............Buelller, Not even Ferris Bueller would of known that and if you said you knew about it your one in a million!




Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/23/12 | tags: ferris bueller wouldn't even know James DeWeaver australian generation x artist

Why was Fred Durst there?

                           To be read after "We do a ninja mission on the mansion property" for continuity.

 I figure at this point in time it's probably a good idea to let Sonya drive this pink golf cart sized monorail  car which is used as Sonya tells us for quick private and fast way for the "live in" playmate's to get to the main house and back again.

 We all get in and Sonya's a pro, she's done this many times before and off we go, not fast about ten miles an hour i guess, she tell us to take a look over to the left alittle further up, it's called the "Half Way", talk about a secretive and secluded "Night club, basically i see as we approach a glass faced front room with all sorts of colorful lights and lasers coming through it and three women standing out front. The music is getting louder as we approach, i'm beginning to think "What the hell is this" Sonya tells us this is a "TOTALLY EXCLUSIVE" party zone and we can have a look as we go by but we can't go in", apparently this would be the place to end up after a good night out!

 We hover by completely silent, this car ran on magnets and with the music on we went by completely unseen,..... but i had a quick look and saw someone who i certainly recognized,  George Clooney was one of the guys i saw in there as we went by, this car's top speed was ten miles an hour so we had a long enough time to see, Sunshine said Drew Barrymore was there aswell as Fred Durst from Limp bizkit, at this point in time i'm more than completely conscious of the calibre of Celebrity that at this Party!

 Fred Durst, "what the hell is Fred Durst doing in a nightclub twenty feet or so underground on the Playboy Mansion property? Maybe he was there for "THE NOOKIE"!

This tunnel is quite the engineering "trip", the lighting is changing in different tones of primary colors, excellent as it's easy on the eyes which after being underground for any length of time you don't need the light to be too bright that's for fu*k'in sure, ESPECIALLY when your on MDMA aswell!

 As i can see the walls go by i notice they have on them large prints of the Playmates from different era's and as we went through i would have to say that the Playmate from the nineteen seventies were in my personal opinion the best out of ALL the generations of Playmates, "They all had pubic hair, a rare sight indeed and a bonus in my books!". I wondered where some of them are know, and what they look like as forty plus years had gone by in some cases, Sonya's like an encyclopedia with her knowledge on them, she points out one's that are dead, some of them didn't even get past FORTY! "Dying young is not uncommon for Playmates" Sonya mournfully laments! "they die young and beautiful though" she says with a quick wink and a large smile.

 Nineteen Eighty comes up and all i begin to see is this,...... there's a larger than normal sized print of a Playmate named Dorothy Stratten, the movie "Star 80" was made in memory of her. An angelic face with a beauty that leaves the meaning of the word beauty in second place,... just a knockout! Sonya starts but i place my hand on her leg and tell her not to say anything, i was more than aware of the fate of Ms.Stratten and didn't need to hear her recount the horrific circumstances which led to her being brutally shot to death by her "boyfriend" Paul Snyder, a sadistic and bizarre sociopath who was no more than a parasite on what "HE KNEW" would be a good thing, and it was..................until he shot Dorothy and then put the gun to his head and squeezed the trigger,............. good fu*k'in riddance to a truly horrible man!

"Hey, snap out of it" Sonya quickly says to me, she's trying to bring me back to where i was, and i do ,.........snap out of it that is,.... it was a "mental timewarp" i was in, emotions and circumstances which are forever embedded in your brain and that are there FOREVER in some cases are there for a reason, trying to work out the reason is a whole different problem though, and NOT one i'm here too try to solve tonight that's for fu*k'in sure!

Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/22/12 | tags: #freddurst James DeWeaver why was fred durst there australian generation x artist

We do a ninja mission on the mansion property!

                         To be read after "Kim Kardashian showed us her real Bum" for continuity.

  This truly aweful film i speak of is titled "Can't Stop the Music" and it was filmed around nineteen eighty i guess, and has Steve Guttenberg in it, he later went on to do all those "Police Academy" movies and probably ended up rather successful unlike the plastic surgery gone wrong Bruce Jenner, talk about fake looking! This film raspberry also has the "Village People" in it, they were actually the only part of the movie that was halfway decent, they had some sort of main role in the movie it's hard to remember although it was only two-three years ago as i had been given some LSD-25 by a good friend and was tripping fairly hard at that point in the night,... sh*t it WAS New Years Eve!

 I remember Bruce Jenner being on cereal boxes when i lived in America, he was an Olympian, a famed sportsman of the era, a man with a great deal of respect and admiration,....... boy how sh*t changes, now this guy sells his own children as a commercial property, the one's he had with the old Kardashian shagger who's name i don't know and don't care too know, she would have to be the epitome of a "stage mom" gone chronically wrong, except she's under the delusion that people give two shits about her aswell, when the reality is most people would rather throw eggs at her than talk to her,............ hell i know i would fu*k yeah!

 There must be alot of perves around who think this very ethnic Kardashian look is one to be sought after, this certainly show's too me how much America has changed since my departure in eighty four. This very ethnic look would of never made it into the mainstream or popular culture, but as like Australia,  the rampant and apparently unstoppable illegal immigration of different peoples from foreign lands arriving into a culture which has been traditionally NOT what it is now, and in that extent the Kardashians have taken advantage of this change and have somehow positioned themselves into a very lucrative niche in a society that would of only twenty five years ago shunned them.

 This is the situation i tell the "ladies" "we'll just get out now, i'm sure as hell not gonna wait behind a complete fu*king wanker like Bruce "I'm a total di*khead"Jenner, and on three let's jet, i tell Otis over the intercom we're getting out now, we're gonna get into the party our own way, he tells me to take the little paging device which alows me to let him know when we want to leave, i grab it before i follow the "ladies" out last.

Sonya knows her way around the layout and we followed behind her to an access doorway which she was very familiar with, as it was to the apartments that the Playmates stay at while they want to or are invited to or just plain decide to stay there for however long!

We follow her into a "closet", yep no sh*t, this closet though had a secret door which we went through to get down one flight of stairs, through one set of glass doors to a mini rail system, complete with four seater cars which would take us about eighty yards underground to the "station" in the Mansion proper.


Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/21/12 | tags: we do a ninja mission on the mansion property James DeWeaver australian generation x artist #KimKardashian

Kim Kardashian showed us her real Bum!

                                       To be read after "Off To the Playboy Mansion we go" for continuity.

  We've all regained our composure to some extent, for how long i can't tell you but as we turn into the driveway, we can see there are atleast six already ahead of us which means we've gotta wait until everyone in the limo's in front can get out and be "greeted"'

 We chill that is until Otis relays to us that the limo two ahead of us had Kim Kardashian in it, we pause very briefly and then burst out into our crazy laughter only for a moment, then i began to tell the "ladies" about something i had seen on the cable one day while i was channel surfing.

 I didn't see the whole program, it was on their reality program, the one that's so bad i can't see why it's even watched, talk about mindless drivel. Well from what i could gather, they somehow came across some dirty, homeless, brain damaged, alcoholic half-whit named Shorty, whisked him up into The Kardashian Whirlwind giving him some kind of really off Rikki Lake makeover gone pear shaped,...... then having this rather disturbed man into their mansion after he's had this makeover for the "big reveal" how terribly unexciting it was in reality but the girls played their act of good samaritan to the hilt.

 Well when "Shorty" came in for the big reveal makeover, he looked worse than he did before, sure he had clean clothes on big fu*k'in deal, and he was shaved, but they must of done some kind of derma brasion therapy on the poor guy aswell as his now unshaven face was the color of a tomato, and due to his alcohol induced brain damage was unable to express i'm sure in his total disgust at what they'd done to him,.. and they did exploit this bum for their own benefit, instead of her bum!

 The last i saw was Kimmy attempting to be compassionate to this homeless guy right, so she takes this maybe twenty dollar heart shaped trinket of her wrist and say's something so sickening i refuse to remind myself of that moment...... but i was thinking, shit,......... THEY'RE worth sixty million a year apparently and for fu*k'in what,....... and they can't think of something better to give to a homeless guy other than a twenty fu*k'in dollar trinket, ........are you fu*k'in kidding me,!........ how about a new clean blanket and a towel, toothbrush and soap, maybe a paid voucher at the Supermarket, SOMETHING which this mans gonna NEED when he's trying to survive on the killer streets of Los Angeles day and night! If Kim had dynamite for brains, she couldn't even blow her nose! What a thoughtless and heartless creature this cold hearted charlatan/harlot is!

 Kim and her sasquatch sister Khloe came out to Australia about two years ago for the Horse races put on down in the state of Victoria, and she was paid one hundred thousand dollars just to go to the race and watch one horse race i kid you not!

This has really got my mood where i was unprepared to go then Otis says "Bruce Jenner's in the limo aswell" well that was just about all i could take, Bruce Jenner, not Bruce "FU*K'IN" Jenner...........hell, ...he's responsible for attempting to act in one of "THE WORST FILMS I'VE EVER SEEN"


Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/20/12 | tags: #KimKardashian Kim Kardashian australian generation x artist James DeWeaver kim kardashian showed us her real bum

Off to the "Playboy Party" we go!

                                      To be read after "The drugs began to take effect" for continuity.

 We were all just a mess, i began to laugh so much and so hard that i thought i was gonna throw up, fortunately i learned a trick in my youth which i was able to apply in this most unusal circumstance. i can't here and now explain what it is exactly but it helped pull me into reality again thank Christ!

 I hadn't even really noticed that the inside had become more of a old fashioned "Discotheque", light and mirror balls, slightly kitsch but the effect it had was a great way to arrive at "The King" of the classic seventies disco era parties.

 The sound system was out of control, Sunshine put on some just mind fu*k'inly great progressive psychedelic trance music and this got the limo rock'in totally, she told me later it was a group from Isreal called "Infected Mushroom".

 Time was on our side, we'd left early and were now on our way to Hollywood, though i thought we were having such an "off the wall" drug experience, anything less than this, or where people who aren't off their nut like we were would be a TOTAL COMEDOWN"!

 We have little choice in that though, if i want to get this commission i've GOT to make an appearance at this gig tonight! This was one of the main reasons i was brought over in the first place and if i wanted to continue this amazing once in a lifetime trip i better fu*k'in get there.

 Sonya had been to the Playboy Mansion many times, but was never one of Hef's mistresses she tells me, " i'm not into men my grandfathers age" we all have another belly my mouth and jaw is starting to hurt from all this laughing,....... we've all really gotta straighten up abit, and when Otis mention's through the speakers we're ten minutes away this takes on more importance now than ever!

 This isn't easy, if you've even had what we've all had you'll probably understand why it's so difficult to be fully wired on drugs one moment, the next you've gotta act straight and talk to people who are gonna think your somekind of fu*k'in maniac if you act like you really felt at that time,'s by no means easy, it takes practice trust me!

 The "Ladies" begin to get themselves straightened up and check their make-up isn't screwed up, and all the tears from that very laughter none of us could really help ourselves, and none of us really cared then anyway we were having a blast!

 Sonya and Summer are onto it quickly, NOT Meredith, the makeup done by the computer is still like it was when we left, she just looks SENSATIONAL!

 We arrive on the street to enter the Mansion property entrance and before we get there Sonya tells us that the Mansion itself is not really all that big, there are alot of detached villa's and living areas around the property though, aswell as a zoo as we're all about to find out.

Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/19/12 | tags: off to the playboy party we go James DeWeaver australian generation x artist #Playboy

The drugs began to take effect!

                                 To be read after "Charlie Sheen did "Wonders" for me" for continuity.

 Now Otis was one "BIG DUDE",  now i'm six foot five and i felt rather tiny next to this megalith, he was built, like he was REALLY solid, i'm sure he could bench press an eye popping weight, i'm sure as fu*k glad he's not only our driver but personal protection aswell, someone would have to be out of their fu*k'in mind to attempt anything to any of us tonight that's for sure!

 I had noticed when he opened the door, as he really had to bendover ,...and in doing so inadvertantly revealed his holster with his handgun inside. Though it was only a momentary glimpse i was able to deduce that he had in fact a Hogue Ruger GP/100 Super RedHawk with it's Coco Bolo Big Butt checkered handgrip being the main giveaway for me, Otis's hands would be massive and a larger grip would always be more advantageous for a person with large hands like his no doubt!

 Before i get in i quick say to him "Ya pack'in tonight Otis" only joking of course, i already knew he was i just wanted to see the big guys reaction more than anything else, "HELL YEAH, this town can get pretty crazy sometimes ya know what i'm say'in"!

 Ah.........indeed i do, L.A. is known throughout the universe for what crazy sh*t happens and starts out on the mean streets of a town you better know where your going cause one wrong turn could most certainly be your last.

 "Ever need to use the "Superhawk" i ask being abit of a smartarse? he looks at me in a surprised but calm manner as he's probably alittle taken back by my knowledge that one, he's got a handgun, and two, that i knew what it was exactly........... "Only once" quietly turning and heading back to his door, i get in asking no more inane question to a guy who's just trying to earn a honest buck, he doesn't need to hear me, that's not what he's getting paid for, and frankly i'm glad he gave me the bum's rush, i was so talkative i could of kept going and fully forgot where the hell i was or more importantly where i was suppose to be in the first place and not to forget who i was going there with!

 I get in to see the ladies have arranged themselves so i get to sit next to my number one, and even though there's four of us, there still is SO MUCH room in this limo it was laughable.

 As we circle out the driveway we all just started to uncontrollably laugh our guts out for no real apparent reason, the "Charlie Sheen" has well and truly kicked in and we're laugh'in, talking nonsense and laughing some more over really nothing THAT funny!

 This is going to be hilarious, i've had this happen once before we i lived in Byron Bay, Australia, a good mate of mine nicknamed Eboy and i took some similar type of drug as this cocktail of Charlie Sheen and the Tripstacy i was now under the influence of. We walked through a PACKED restaurant that was on the property at the time of The Arts Factory Lodge, it's name escapes me at the moment, but we laughed the entire length of this restaurant in a completely unstoppable and uncontrollable way, very embarrassing as i was working there at the time aswell, .....everyone knew me, i didn't go in intending to do this it was the drugs fully coming on and all i can say now is that it was just a riot when it happened!

Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/18/12 | tags: the drugs began to take effect James DeWeaver australian generation x artist

Charlie Sheen did "Wonders" for me!

                           To be read after "Gross cat's piss smelling marijuana" for continuity.

""Charlie Sheen,..............who the hell would name their own strain of dope Charlie Sheen?

 This is gonna be good i'm reckoning from just the really resinous trichomes on the nice size buds if i do say so myself, never smelled anything quite like it i figure i'll just roll one of these "Babies" into a nice sized spliff and start it off!

 I did a really nice one this time, doobie that is, probably helps if your NOT distracted with one of the most visually appealling woman i've ever laid my eyes on!

 The red haired sensimilla i started the night off with just wasn't as good a blend with the Tripstacy, sometimes this happens it's not like it wasn't epic weed because it was, if you weren't on E, this "Charlie Sheen" should be if the description runs true just what i need right about now, i'm inexorably drawn to finish this spliff as fast as i fu*k'in can now, i know......... i can just feel it that this is gonna be a real lifesaver!

 Ahh........... ready to go and i don't hesitate in setting this spliff alight...............!

 Before i even exhaled i felt in my brain and incredible euphoric feeling which really began about ten seconds after the exhale, wow!

 I was still there present in the moment but it felt as if mouthwash was circulating in my brain, a cool  sensation whirling around inside my head, a feeling i've personally have never quite experience which was there one moment and then slowly evaporated away in it's own metaphysical way, strange but felt AWESOME, it wasn't until the second toke that i knew why this is called "green crack", although i've never had crack and never would the fact is that if you listen to addicts who've been on this sh*t for years they talk about "the first hit" and once they had it they became hooked, penniless, homeless, prostitutes and dealers not to forget all the permanent long term damage it does to them, just shocking! 

 I get up as i wouldn't want the "ladies" walking in and seeing me there so i headed out of my room with the doobie in hand, never know if this is "creeper gear" that sh*t really will put you down.........totally "green you out", ya get to much of something to strong, well it's too strong for YOU atleast, there are probably heaps of "cone heads" around the place that smoke it regularly, not me though! 

 There just down in the lobby area and it looks like we're going an hour early, atleast their getting organized, the "Charlie Sheen" has done wonders i must say, "i went from sh*t to Champage" in no time! This is nice much more focused, alert, and yeah i'm starting to feel like i really want to be social, no lag or feeling like i'm in third gear i'm right fu*k'in on to it now and by the time i meet up with them i'm itch'in to boogie!

 We all decide to leave early, this was no longer where i or they wanted to be no way i wanted to be at the freak'in party and so did they, the spliff does acouple of laps around us and then we jet!

 As we leave, the driver side door opened and a hulking African American bloke got out and came and opened the door for the ladies as they entered into this Limo which was SO fu*k'in long one by one he said "my name is Otis and i'll be your driver bodyguard this evening you need not worry about a thing"


Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/17/12 | tags: australian generation x artist James DeWeaver #charliesheen Charlie sheen did wonders for me charlie sheen

"Gross Cat Piss" smelling marijuana!

                                      To be read after "What happened to Tommy Lee the Turd" for continuity.

 The show continues after her make-up was done, on went the lingerie, that was after she was happy with what she chose, i was, happy that is, and the "cherry" on top was the "Stella",.......... she works it in a most mouth-dropping way, i gotta get use to this atleast for now!

 We go down the elevator to where Sunshine and Sonya are, they've been friends for years, and as they would, they've been catching up on each others gossip i can only imagine, we're both greeted with a kiss on the cheek and with their intuition seemed to be aware that Meredith and i had done "the funky chicken", and they clearly couldn't care less, these chick's were Pro's lets face it, Top of the line and i knew it, i didn't care, protection is always a given with me though so i was totally prepared for any frivolities which may happen, i was expecting it more so at the Party not at the house but i went with the flow and regret nothing in hindsight!

 Sunshine and Sonya are still keen as, they'll have to wait though, i'll have zero energy if i have to do them before i leave, and  i pretty much let them know this, their slightly bummed as they giggle and powt, almost begging me for some action, this is what i thought the "red pills" would do to atleast one of them but be aware. The red pills as far as i've been told have Ketamine in them, Ketamine is a Equine tranquilizer, and when ingested by someone has this bizarre effect especially if it's cut with MDMA.

 I swear to God, women literally want to fu*k all night long! Not all but many of my own personal observations would hold this to be true, i'm not here to tell you anything other than i would be useless, spent if i were to fall into the trap of do'in it with Sunshine right now!

Music changed,......... ah.. Miles Davis- "Bitches Brew", classic album and one that i didn't put on, apparently the computer thought it would engage in alittle humour as it was aware four people were listening and speaking, and was colloquially aware that women are sometimes referred to as "Bitches",...... i had used it earlier on when i was talking to Snoop, the computer obviously re-adapted it's meaning into what in it's memory bank "Bitches" are, and it's only reference was Miles Davis album "Bitches Brew", was actually trying to inject humour into the situation even though it was unable to vocalize the thought,  a very cool house computer, i can only imagine what this "Computers" next generation's will be like................ but i would highly recommend one i'm sure! 

I'm in more of an internal contempletive mood now, i'm not all ampted up like the ladies are that's for sure, i let them gabble as i leave to get something from my room which one should NEVER EVER forget when going to an all-nighter,.........and what's that,...........well it's "SUNGLASSES", the worst thing is when you been up all night pill'in and have to go out in the sunlight, it's like your Dracula or something, your pupil's are so dilated and unable to adapt to this light due to the side-effects of the MDMA, that you totally need "Sunnies" on BIGTIME!

There are all different kinds here i'm easy though, they've just gotta be big and black that's it, none of these Aviator glasses no not me "i'm fu*k'in hardcore".

As i'm looking at myself in the mirror, i see in the lower right hand corner near the bedhead four gold top screw on lids, just like the one my red haired Sinsemilla was in it think "COULD IT BE" i turn around and walk over and to my most happiest surprise i reached down and pull one out, on the side it had in silver writing a description and a name, the one i pulled out READ "Super Lemon Haze" A+, i gleefully unscrewed the cap and was suddenly overwelmed by it's pungent lemony-citrus arromatics. I put his back into it's spot and pulled up another, "OG Kush" A++, and it's descrition was straight to the point,"Couch Lock" is what it read, this was one dope i'd be steering clear of tonight that's for sure. I put that back and next to it i pull up something i couldn't believe, it said "Alaskan Thunderfu*k" A+ i kid you not, i have a close look and see really resinous bright orange hairs on these buds, mmmmm.....that looks interesting i'm think'in, the only description was "MUNCHIES" and "Banana taste" that can't be bad i thought, i twist the lid and stick my nose in to catch a whiff and almost pass-out at it's bizarre aromatic, it's a combination of cat's piss and Diesel,........... gross, i don't care if it taste like banana, if it STINKS of Diesel and cat's piss i ain't puff'in on it, NO WAY! This gets lidded instantly and put in another room later.The next one was labelled "Banana Kush"A+, Top-Shelf  "Euphoria and good for anxiety" was almost a lime green in color, i was hoping this didn't smell like the last and thankfully it didn't....... very different, this had a tropical fruit sort of aromatic, maybe a green banana or honeydew melon odor, quite nice smelling i thought and ranked it to be my number one or two for getting toasted on, but i wanted to see what was in the last two jars so i placed the Banana Kush back where it had been and pulled out a jar labelled "Charlie Sheen"A++++, i could of expected this but i still don't believe it, "GOOD FOR SOCIALIZING" it read on the description aswell as "green crack" which tweeked my attention and the "could make you paranoid", "very potent" and  "energy rush euphoria"..........ah............ finally i thought this is right up my alley, i slowly twist the lid and the sweet smell of cotton-candy, that was not what i expected but this is exactly what the Doctor ordered, i don't want to or need to smell any more weed that reaks of cat's piss and Diesel that's for fu*k'in sure!




Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/16/12 | tags: James DeWeaver cat piss smelling marijuana australian generation x artist

What happened to Tommy Lee the "Turd"?

                                           To be read after "This room had a 150 inch television in it"!

 I grab her hand and proceed to the elevator, i'm not really in a stairs mood right now and either is she. We go all of ten feet vertically and get out, i lead her to the "master" bathroom which i saw earlier on, never used it as my room has an en-suite which is where i showered before my afternoon nap, about a half the size of the "master" bathroom.

 Now this bathroom was fitted out with an epic Japanese bath tub which could of fit six comfortably and was about four feet deep as we soon found out, this was just at the best temperature to cool down, and it had jacuzzi features which for me was unconventional but certainly good "clean" fun, which in a word is what Meredith and myself were up to, that is after the bath,.................good and clean, she said she felt "cleansed" after that, which to me is a good start to the night ,............maybe i wasn't as tired as i thought i had been, doesn't matter, we had really clicked and it was soon apparent that as now the  Yakuza weren't going to be going with us these two were going to be with me, yep i had the trio all to myself as "companions" for the night and wasn't i totally fu*k'in stoked and off my nut

 We get out after about half an hour, (one half an hour i'll not soon forget i might add) and i head to my room quickly to find some clothes to put on as i have nothing on at this point except the "Bubble" around my neck.

 Oh the "Bubble",....What was the "Bubble"?, well this "Bubble" was one of the first things that i was given when i arrived and was very important to always wear on me anywhere even in the shower or bath as it was waterproof and floated aswell. 

 Essencially it was a small egg shaped computer monitoring and filtering application which allows people wearing it to effectively turn off the "in-house" computers visual recording and sound interface. If i have this ON the computer can't see anything other than a seven foot in diameter black circle, this is intended for privacy, and as mine is set currently set ON,......... i don't need to have any concerns for anything indescreet later being seen on the Internet or where ever, although if it did i could care less, look at what it did for that drummer loser drug addict from Motley Crue "Tommy Lee". What happened to Tommy Lee that Turd ?.........and whatever happened to his reality television program anyway?, that was really some vomit inducing awful sh*t!

 Meredith didn't have a "Bubble" though, the only time she was not seen was when she was close to me which she wasn't now, she had a room to go to that was like a fashion house showroom, there were all kinds of designer dresses by Chanel, Cavalli, Elie Saab, Dior, Givenchy, tons of shoes, jewellry you name it.

 I was back with Meredith in a flash, i'm not about to miss out on ANY action tonight, this would be fun in my mind and through these drug effected eyes.

 Oh, and how could i possibly forget,.... watching her using the computer with the robotic arm on it, this applied ALL of her make-up from the base to lip-liner to blusher,..... everything you name it...... just fu*k'in out of this world, I'd NEVER seen these modified computers that do makeup before very "FUTURE TRENDY"!

  It, from my assessment of it, image mapped the face three dimensionally then circled her head in a 360 degree arc taking millions of images that reproduced her face digitally right in front of you on the monitor, it was making an image "it" could read to do its job, from this info which the computer gleened she could then look at the little monitor directly in front of her and begin to watch this small robotic arm which could move seven directions and didn't miss a thing i might add, skillfully and most adeptly applied "her face" finally applying a slightly darker color lip liner with a pencil around her full lips, was just unreal, this was precise, there was no walking away from this computer without looking anything other than stupendous, and for Meredith, this was what she was when it was finished, taking less than ten minutes and she looks even better than when she arrived, as the computer changed the make-up tonal colors which she had on originally to what the computer "thought" was a "better" option for her particular tone on it's knowledge base of various complexions, (it, the computer could "see" millions of more colors than a human being), including African Americans......... and the computer won on it's make-over let me tell ya,...... just over the top attractive is young Meredith!

 I had tried to roll a spliff when i was watching the robot apply her make-up and what a disaster of a doobie that was, my concentration was not exactly on the spliff at the time and you could tell by this wacky J, it was probably looking back at it now the fact she was naked and just had the most incredible athletic figure and "Jesus Juggs",......that's right "Jesus Juggs",....... the fella's know what i'm talking about here, big breasticles, when  you see them and all you can say to yourself is "JESUS"!, those kind,........ and they're real..... 100%....I would've had too of been a complete homo not too of done what i did, she was totally hot and cool with her figure and how she felt about her body in general, UNLIKE alot of young Australian women i've come across in the past, Meredith wasn't like this at all which was what i really dug,...........  she was so laid back about her sexuality, a quality not often seen but when it is, is totally appreciated by someone like myself no doubt!

 I have to restart the joint again but that's cool we're in no big hurry and for now i have NO PROBLEM being with Meredith, let's just say i'm glad one of the Japanese guys liked black chicks as this was why Meredith had been chosen to be here in the first place i guess although i don't know this for being fact,......... just my hypothesis or should i say "educated guess"!

 Her fashion sense was playful, young and expensive, a very high maintenance young woman in the real world i could only imagine, but if ya got it like she had you may aswell flaunt it i say, and she did.............. i'll be the first to tell you that!

I totally enjoyed the little fashion show i had put on for me, Meredith tried on about seven dresses before she hit a total homerun in this little Stella McCartney number, a floral dress which when worn by Meredith could of just as easily have been seen on the runway in the Stella McCartney Fashion show...................... with Meredith wearing it!

I'm oh so glad i brought my GoPro camera with me as this video will be real interesting in the future i'm sure!


Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/15/12 | tags: Art australian generation x artist James DeWeaver what happened to tommy lee that turd

This room had a "150 inch Television" in it!

                                           To be read after "This handgun was a "Beast" for continuity!

I head up to the Entertainment room and i can hear the babes having fun, ........don't know what their doing but i'm having some fun,........... it's not everyday i get to spend time in a place like this, the collections of all types of variety, different and unique all at the same time with background stories to all that i'm sure would be fascinating in their own right, EVERYTHING has a story.

So i get to this door which i would of thought was similar to all the others and it wouldn't let me down.

I'm at first taken back by this SUPER HUGE Panasonic High Definition Plasma televison........... i'm amazed to see it at the other side of what turns out to be a rather large room indeed! This television must of been when i stood up near it twelve feet wide, about one hundred and fifty inches or so,  twice my body length i approximated when i lay down next to it, just fuck'in amazing!

The more outrageous feature to this television in my book was that it was voice activated through the house's computer mainframe, while i had been in the house it (the house computer)was taking reading's, voice analysis to be exact, it was recording my words and incorporating them into a pre-existing "Guest" program file which it had on me already, this is what allows me to enter all but one room as i was told, if i was an intruder it would be highly unlikely i would ever get into the house in the first place, and if i had the computer could lock me into any room i was going into, private security would of been there in about two minutes, this was a very elaborate system in a very thorough kind of way, so anytime i go back it will have this file already there just waiting to be activated upon my return, pretty cool!

 "ON TELEVISION" is the command and without fail the giant wakes from its slumber and i have to move back about forty feet or so before i really see her in all her glory and what a sight she is, it's a Busta Rhymes video "WHOA".... this is a sight to be seen, the definition of the screen quality was beyond phenomenal, this is a trip, and so is this E, it's turning into a "Tripstacy" Not an Ecstacy, i've had these in the past................. their like a half trip half E experience, not bad but NOT the FULL ON E, which is something entirely different to what i'm feeling now, and the video is really bringing this on BIGTIME, so i light up the last spliff i had on me,...................though i still had PLENTY more left in my "mystery jar"!

 I head to the mini bar pull out a Schweppe's Lemonade and head for a seat to completely blend into the television, the video's are anything the internet has on it basically, i'm not gonna watch any movies now as time is getting on, so i watch and "buzz out" to all kinds of video's for the next forty five minutes until i get visitors, the trio downstairs had come to look for me to make sure i was alright and to see if i needed them to do anything for me, ............i thought about it and replied,............."nah i'm cool,..............but i'm gonna hop into the shower and cool off" i'd see if the hook i just threw out as bait will get any takers, "mind if i join you" Meredith cooly looking at me and i wasn't about to say no, HELL, i'd just put myself into that situation, i knew there was a possiblility that could've happened.... that's cool, i really do need to cool off as these pills can often screw around with your bodies natural thermostat, i had PLENTY of Ralph Lauren Polo to change into, let's put it this way, i was glad to save water for the people of California to share my shower with a beautiful, slender, intelligent and very hot babe!

Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/14/12 | tags: This room had a 150 inch television in it James DeWeaver australian generation x artist

This handgun was a "BEAST"!

                                   To be read after "Snoop Dogg was going to be at the Party" for continuity.

For this one was a very fair skin strawberry blonde babe, fully natural as the tell-tale freckles were there though suited her and  her  porcelin like skin.

I get near to them when in unison they both say "hello James, ready for some fun tonight" then laughing these two were already well and truly off their nuts, Sonya and i looked down right sober compared to these two fire flies.

 The one in the Cavalli mini was Meredith, the other, a very flirtacious bird i must say, she couldn't keep her hands from wandering the whole time was "Sunshine", she reminded me of an American version of someone from around the parts i live in now actually, The Rainbow Region of New South Wales, Australia.

 Alot of hippies moved up this way in the early nineteen seventies, had kids, and alot of them gave them some pretty "far out" names and Sunshine would most certainly be one along with Moon, Jarrah, LiLu, Star etc etc.

 Alot of these kids must of been conceived when their parents were taking alot of LSD or Magic Mushrooms as many are not totally functioning people unfortunately, but there are lots that do and this Sunshine would of not been far out of place here that's for sure.

 There NOT drinking any alcohol, their just having water which makes me think these "ladies" are well versed in the school of drug taking, i very briefly have just a "good manners"chat before i leave them to get caught up on whatever the fu*k it was and am starting to get bored, look at my watch got two hours to kill so i thought i'll just go to the cinema room and fu*k around with some sounds or music or whatever catches my fancy, there's more than enough "fun sh*t" in this house to keep someone occupied for many many hours on end, there's even a built in shooting range with all kinds of hand guns, i went down there, thinking about it now was not probably the sanest things i could of done but what the hell, ...........i did and am still here.

 There was this "BEAST" of a handgun on one of the mounts, took it down to have a closer examination of it, my knowledge of handguns is not quite expert but i know handguns, and looking at the length of this, the twelve inched barrell alone limits make model and manufacturer. This was a .454 Casull Magnum with mini optic scope, this gun would put "Dirty Harry's" to shame, it can deliver a 250 grain or sixteen gram bullet with a muzzle velocity of nineteen hundred feet a SECOND!

The bullets for this are about the size of a double(AA) battery, ......fu*k'in huge, i shot off about twenty of these, each time it sent such a force or vibration that it was to this day undescribable, it was just the torque from the gun that was amazing, a handgun that just blew me away.......i wonder if i need to be licenced here to shoot?,............i don't know probably not anyway why am i thinking about that,....... i'm in an indoor shooting range, i think i'll put Casull down and go look around the video/Entertainment room, i was told there's a giant plasma TV with every game out on the market, i'm not a big games player, though i did like going to a place in Westport,CT. when i was younger called "ARNIE'S PLACE", they were the first in Westport to bring in the latest video machines like Tron, Pacman, Dig a Dug, Frogger, Defender and Asteroid, that generation is the ones i grew up on. 


Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/13/12 | tags: this handgun was a beast australian generation x artist james deweaver

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