The Love Boat is dated now!
Posted by James DeWeaver
| tags: the love boat is dated now James DeWeaver australian generation x artist
To be read after "Vince Neil made Elvis look anorexic" for continuity in - 96hrs.to L.A. and back! -
I have to admit i was at a slight advantage here at the party as most of these people were already known to me, well atleast their faces and their names were, and maybe a movie or television program they had been on, while i on the other hand was someone rather "anonymous" and unknown to all, aswell as having travelled all the way from Australia for the "gig" - which was a bonus for me as i would soon come to find out.
I was having fun in a way just doing what we were doing though, going from place to place seeing things and new people that i would've never had the chance to do back home. The laugh Stiller and i had at Neil's expense was priceless and will be remembered fondly. As we were about to go our separate ways Ben asked "Well what are you doing now?", i turned to Sonya and was just about to tell Ben we were going to find Hef as we hadn't seen him yet as we had to make a quick entrance into the house as Bruce Jenner and Kim Kardashian were ahead of us............ and Jenner makes me want to throw up everytime i lay my eyes on him.
Stiller laughed and then proceeded to ask if we'd like to come over to his table where his wife and a few others were, "Sure" i reply, looking at my watch it's almost quarter past two, haven't seen Hef YET, but what happy to go with Stiller and his group for awhile, he had a table off of the main area and we had many good laughs from Politicians to Pop stars, i tell Ben that i remember watching episodes of "The Love Boat" when i lived in America, and his father Jerry played roles on it which were ........... well at the time were very contemporary in regards to the humor and story themes, but watching them today makes them look EXTREMELY dated and SO fu*king uncool!
Stiller was doing well, totally sober as was his wife, but Ben had lived in L.A. long enough to know that i was pretty fu*k'in out of it, but he also knew that i'd flown from OZ, halfway around the world that is, and had slept about five hours since my arrival, the fact that i was an Artist would all add up to Stiller not giving two sh*ts about my intoxication, hell i told him about the bada*s "Charlie Sheen" we'd been smoking before we even arrived, on top of the "tripstasy/ MDMA we'd had at the house.
We only briefly talk, time was not a luxury, Hef doesn't stay up all night anymore, sh*t he's eighty who'd expect him too, i'll be lucky to see the night through, fu*k ....... i haven't stayed up all night for atleast a decade myself and i'm less than half his age! I get his phone number as he'd like to talk to me again before i head back home, AND "when i've got a clear head" is how he referred to it as, totally PC, i was fully fu*ked!
After saying our goodbye's and getting his number entered into my phone we depart into the whirlpool of people again, this was becoming a really active night, we kept bouncing from place to place in search of............. but Hef was nowhere yet to be seen, now all i see is people, then i see the butt,.......... not just any butt, it's the one that follows around Kim Kardashian, and who's with Kim apart from Bruce Jenner? HEF!!
Sh*t, i'm gonna wait on this one i think, Sonya tells me that Hef's been trying to get Kim to pose nude in Playboy and up until now she's refused. Most of the girls who've posed in Playboy aren't pulling in sixty million a year i'm think'in were as Kim is, Playboy use to be the starting point for young models, broke young models, now Kim was neither so getting this "virginal" and "pure" Kardashian to maybe show her breasts or derriere was going to be Hef's Everest!
and was left wih the impression that Ben Stiller is genuinely a "good bloke".
Vince Neil made Elvis look anorexic!
Posted by James DeWeaver
| tags: vince neil made elvis look anorexic australian generation x artist James DeWeaver
To be read after "Jesse James ISN'T a Tough guy" for continuity.
Sonya really had knowledge in someway on just about everyone we came across, she was young but beyond her years when it came to this lifestyle, and was the "perfect" match for me as a "companion" this night, Meredith was an added bonus thanks to the "Noh" crew being unable to attend to to their inebriation on the "green fairy", never mind their loss and my gain, i'm glad about that anyway, Yakuza aren't known for their "gentlemen" like behaviour when it comes to a female when they've paid for her!
Another thing i was glad to have with me that night was my dictaphone, it's voice-activated and recorded everything, if i didn't have this with me i would've never been able to write the recollections of a very wild night here and now.
After we left Glen we moved along the underground in the tunnel system until we arrived at the exit point and the entry point for the bowling alley. Sonya tells us to have a seat at this table which looked like the one in Happy Days at Al's, red leather upholstery, check red and white table top, look seriously out of place down here, she say's just sit down and wait, we all sit down and Sonya reached for the Pepper shaker and then pulled it forward and in doing so the table did a rapid one hundred and eighty degree turn and from being in the tunnels system to now what looks like the inside of a "Fifties" style burger joint with everything in here being authentic to that time period. Just incredible, this looks like something caught in a "timewarp"!
The place is completely empty, Sonya tells us that this hasn't been in use for many years now, no explanation was given. Too bad i'm thinking, this place was TOTALLY cool with all the authentic memoribilia. This was right near the bowling alley and as we exit the "burger joint" we begin to see people coming and going from the alley, we could be too late Sonya thinks, Hef doesn't stay anywhere too long nowadays she tells us,"he's ALWAYS on the go" which come to some surprise to me as the blokes in his eighties now!
She was right, we had been too late, the only person who i saw actually bowling was a porky looking Vince Neil, a failed lead singer for the band Motley Crue, a real "hair band" with Neil leaving the band in nineteen nintey two after years of chronic drug, alcohol and fast food abuse, leaving Neil obese and would make Elvis in his "fat" years look mildly anorexic!
"I don't wanna stay down here with that fat fu*khead" i emphatically tell Sonya, she agree's and we're soon back on our way with everyone else this time in leaving Neil to bowl all he wants BY HIMSELF! i noticed Ben Stiller was walking next to me and we had a laugh about Vince Neil and his "bowling"! i'd never met Ben before but we had a good laugh a Neil's expense, it seems i wasn't the only one who disliked Neil with a passion, Stiller had some less than favorable remarks which i won't re-print here although i will say they were brutal!
The four of us walked together back outside talking and laughing the whole way out, ya see Ben is funny as fu*k, a TRUE comedian as i would imagine Robin Williams to be, well atleast when he was in his natural prime, ........which is about twenty years ago now, last time i saw him on David Letterman he was about as funny as "root canal"!
Jesse James ISN'T a Tough guy!
Posted by James DeWeaver
| tags: jesse james isn't a tough guy James DeWeaver australian generation x artist sandra bullock.#FreeJesseJames
To be read after "It was like Glee had come to life" for continuity in - 96 hrs. to L.A. and back!-
This "underground monorail" was so cool, we can just as easily walk down a flight of stairs, hop into this little monorail rig and be over to the Main House in about ten seconds flat! We'd already done this before except this time we were one down, so Meredith and i took the backseat this time while Sonya did the "driving", huh, all she really did was push forward a gear which engaged the magnets and we were off, moving on the monorail silently that is, and we were all MORE THAN OFF, "we were almost as fu*ked as you can get and still walk and talk"!
We go by the "Half Way" and i look over and see someone who hadn't been there my last time by or i didn't see him, which was what i wished had happened this time around, as Jesse James, that clown and "really" tough motorcyle rider, mechanic whatever the fu*k he does i could care less, the more i find out about him the more comprehensively i understand what a completely scummy dude he really is!
I'm NOT talking about the way he treated Sandra Buttock when he had that sex session with that fully body tattooed modern day circus freak, OH NO NOT ME, it's Jesse and this "outlaw" facade that this man persists on going to the point of a characiture with! Does he really think he's a BADA*S? Does he really think the hype of his more infamous relative and all of his thirteen robberies or attempts is something to be proud of?
I'm not sure, if he is or was such a "tough guy" why didn't he ever win the UFC World Championship, or even fight Chuck Lidell or Ken Shamrock or the greatest of them all Randy Couture even once? WHY NOT JESSE?
"The bandana across the forehead down over the eyebrows is "SO" fu*king nineteen eighty five it's not even funny"! I remember seeing Mike Muir, lead singer for the Suicidal Tendancies on Donahue circa nineteen eighty five wearing his bandana like that, with Jello Biafra,Dead Kennedy's, Wendy O Williams from the Plasmatics and some FU*KHEAD named Bob DeMoss, who swore on live television obscene words, from a Fundamentalist Christian group called "Focus on the Family", NOW THERE'S a fanatical bunch of Christian do-gooders if i've ever seen one! I hoped he (Jesse James) stayed there, at the "Half Way" that is, NOT in nineteen eighty five although that would be good know doubt!!
We passed by then Sonya slowed down and asked this really well dressed guy with long sandy blonde hair who looked like an old rocker if he "wanted a ride" at which point he turned around and immediately recognized Sonya and gave her a big ole' smile with brilliant white teeth flashing. Seeing this it was obvious they knew each other from sometime in the past as Sonya say's "hop on in Glen, i want you to meet two good friends of mine" We're introduced shook hands and as he sat down in the car with us he put his arm around Sonya's shoulder in a familial way.
Glen has a very strong south London accent from what i'm hearing, maybe Greenwich area, very distinctive, and to see if my guess is correct i asked Glen where abouts in England he was born, (as this is where their accents are "native" too, he could live anywhere in the world but his "native" accent still retains sounds only spoken in his regional dialect), just for the hell of it as i tell him my mother was born in the U.K. aswell which is true.
"Blackheath" he replied and started to talk to Sonya for all of about five seconds until we got to the main house "station". I was not far off in my guess as Blackheath is about a mile or so away from Greenwich. We get out and say goodbye to him as he went one way while we go the other, "ya know who that was don't you"? Sonya asks me, "Yeah,..... that was Glen" as i reply to her obvious question, she says in an almost condescending way, "that wasn't just Glen, that was "Glen Tipton, Grammy Award winning Guitarist from Judas Priest,....... that Glen!" Well i didn't know, how was i to know that was Glen Tipton from Judas Priest"?Sure they were huge when i lived in America, but that was nineteen eighty four!
It was like Glee had come to life!
Posted by James DeWeaver
| tags: weird al yankovic can't dance James DeWeaver australian generation x artist weird al helen hunt
To be read after "I was like walking on the Moon" for continuity.
I was starting to get REALLY energetic after my brief but needed break and said to the ladies let's go have a boogie, there were DJ's there who were just outstanding, both in technique and sounds, total "Worldies"! We had a dance which i might add was something special, not only was i dancing with Sonya and Meredith, but with other people who were only seen by myself prior on the Television or the movie screen, there were some older groovers like Helen Hunt and "Weird" Al Yankovic having an "attempt" at dancing, Al was so fu*king over the top it was hilarious, aswell as a whole group of twenty somethings, apparently these were the "kids" of the older invited guests. It's like Glee had come too life here, all types, when you live in a community like these "kids" do and have all their life, reality is never part of the picture, i know this oh too well growing up in a town like Westport Ct.
These kids have in most not all but most cases have very little "expectation" placed on them in life as their parents are in general very wealthy, the father is often in a very prominent and important position in the culture with little or no time to be around a growing and impressionable youth and in this environment these kids "go feral", they are brought up their entire lives with this life already in place, a kind of cage, as they know that if they stick to the "program" do well in school, go to an Ivy League College etc, etc, and then they too will also be able to lead a very insulated and priveleged lifestyle and be able to live in affluent places like Westport or Greenich.
These kids party hard, live too fast and in some tragic endings die way too young, sons and daughters of the "famous"...... special people, atleast that's what the culture says. Many clearly are just like the three of us so we all join in to what is a really random mix of the famous, some infamous and some really just twisted characters you'd only see in L.A.
This was wild but we or should i say that i was really ready to move on and continue on the mission. We wrap up when Sonya get's a phone message, Hef's P.A. , Sonya tells me she wanted to know where abouts we were, and that Hef was heading down to go bowling and that it might be a good time to see him. Hef was a bigtime bowler, well atleast when he was younger, but the Mansion has it's own bowling alley, and Sonya tells me that she knows the shortcut from here and grabs my hand i already had Merediths and we head to the main house via the garden shed! I said garden shed and that's what it was, ya see we were at THAT point in time as far from the main house as you could get, there were probably five to eight hundred people here and there was a snowball's chance in hell that we'd be able to get to see Hef if we had to walk there.
So in back of the tennis court we enter what in the end in just another "station" for the underground monorail, when we got onto this the first time we were about halfway, now we were at the "Coney Island" end of the line.This was a great idea, if Sonya wasn't with me forget it, NO CHANCE, she really was a major help the whole time. She codes into the wall her password and we are in! The false wall slides open revealing the familiar downward stairs like before. We go in and the automatic door closes behind us. The stairs have a red glow until we hit platform level then the multi-colored lights re-appear, WHAT A TRIP!
I was like "walking on the Moon"!
Posted by James DeWeaver
| tags: i was like walking on the moon australian generation x artist James DeWeaver
To be read after "A Jackson Pollock like style in Beer and Faeces" for continuity in - 96 hrs. to L.A. and back!
I was just about done with the doobie and feeling alittle more aware, focused maybe, but as soon as i was finished Sonya say's "there he is!" as she points we look and sure enough there he was alright, the only problem is we were up here and he was down there, surrounded by about three hundred people.
The ladies and i quickly head off the same way we got up here and are through and down the building in what seemed to be five seconds flat, it couldn't of possibly been that quick but we, or should i say me, was so fu*king high at this point in time it felt like i was "moon walking"!
This was radical, a feeling of being as light as a feather, and the colors of the attention drawing laser lights and their projections instantly grab my attention as soon as we step out into the night again.
Now this is when the "trip" totally came on, i guess with the reefer and the excitement of running through and down the building, my heart rate increased and pumped more blood through my body again, "ya gotta move when your on these you just can't sit and do nothing" this is exactly why you see so many people continuously dancing at "dance parties", their just keeping the drugs circulating through their bodies!
Though truly wasted i'm still completely lucid, and as we go through what looks like an "after party" for the Oscars, there's famous people left and right, some who were more fu*ked than me, i was atleast still able to walk and talk somehow, but i felt like i was in a strange sort of Disneyland gone triple XXX!
We were able to get a rough bearing on where Hef was from our position above, NOW all we had to do was somehow get to where he was last. We walked by a couple of older women, not quite Hef's age but not far off, who looked like they'd seen the same butcher, i mean "plastic" surgeon as Bruce "fu*k'in" Jenner, ........... these women really did look like aliens and weird old ones at that!!
It always amazes me when i come here to see what some people will do to themselves by way of cosmetic surgery in a vain attempt to peel back the years and years in their life when they weren't or couldn't be what they desired too be, and in a final act of self mutilization they rid the old shame filled former self with a completely new "plastic" and shallow artificial self in the place of the old shattered former self persona,........... for these unfortunate people never will see who they were and what they were meant too be and look-like, Mickey Rourke would be the "Poster" guy for this kind of personality inversion in my opinion.
He was not here, but Bruce Willis was, now there's a man who's really seen the WILD SIDE of life! From what i was told about Bruce was that he was "the" man in the seventies who had THE best drugs going, especially LSD, don't know why exactly, but he was the sh*t when it came to Acid in L.A. this is only "alleged", i'm not saying it's true for legality!
The closer we got to where we thought Hef was, i began to hear accoustic, unplugged guitars and singing, i recognize the song but am not able to tell you which one although i do remember it's a song sung by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers(incredible name for a rock band). I can see my way over the heads of most of the guests here tonight and in doing so can see Flea, the bassist for the RHCP, who i might add was born in Australia, bopping away like he always does when he's playing his killer bass, and Anthony next to he singing, just the two of them, they were really having fun as was i for i was here, not just here,................ BUT was "totally fu*ked off my face as well"!
A Jackson Pollock like style in Beer and Faeces!
Posted by James DeWeaver
| tags: James DeWeaver a jackson pollock like style in beer and faeces #charliesheen australian generation x artist charlie sheen
To be read after "Steve-O had a tube up his butt there" for continuity in- 96 hrs. to L.A. and back!
We're all fixated at this act of pure stupidity down below as i take a load off my feet to roll a nice bit of this Charlie Sheen bud up into an epic spliff. We continue to watch as the crowd begins to build around Steve-O as he's almost "downed" if that's the correct word for what i'm seeing this fruitcake act out in front of our very eyes, there must be sixty?.......eighty.?..... fu*k, there must be atleast eighty people NOT including us in this "beer slammer" too remember!
There,......... he just finished getting what i would guesstimate to be atleast two litres of beer forced by gravity up his "date"- What a fu*king MORON"! What sort of KNUCKLE-HEAD does such things?Taking a closer look at Steve-O..... he's really not looking too crash hot after this little experiment of a beer colonic, and in such obvious discomfort as you clearly would be if you had done this thing yourself at home which i DON'T recommend unless YOU ARE Steve-O! Everyone's REALLY beginning to laugh really loudly at this modern day "Jester" for lack of a better word, and Steve-O really plays his part well!
He stood up and REALLY looks in a bad way, he actually didn't stand up straight or pull his pants up either, and so this blokes bent over ass out and co*k and balls out aswell as the lights flash and video phones record. What does he decide to do................... well Steve-O, the bright bloke he is suddenly begins to run after someone who was not known to any of the three of us around a function table until he'd(Steve-O) trapped the other bloke by the marquee canvas sides and the table, Steve-O quickly turned, bent over and dropped his pants and like a "rectal Howitzer" began to expel from his anus probably half of what he "swallowed" moment's prior in a matter of maybe two seconds at the very most........ and hitting the guy almost entirely from the waist up - including HIS FACE!
UN-BEFU*K'INLIEVABLE, aswell as leaving a "Jackson Pollock" like style of beer and faeces painting on the marquee canvas, except for where the dude was standing, it was.......... amazingly gross, just leaving a clean white silhouette of his presence around this brown discoloring,..well sh*t! I'll remember that, or more like will be unable to forget it as will the girls and anyone who witnessed this for i'd imagine a very long time, why he did that who the fu*k would know.......it's Steve-O, he'd be dumber than a forty pound sh*thammer!
We're so grossed-out we completely get up and shift to the other side of the walk and i can tell you the Charlie Sheen has done it's job again, it REALLY DID give us a quick lift and really helped "kick back in" the MDMA bigtime, this was really good sh*t, compared to everything i'd ever had in the past i would've already peaked-out by now, but this was different, this was a "creeper" drug, it lured you in by making you think it wasn't strong when in fact it was really strong and can fu*k you up BIGTIME, i know the reality about this sh*t from experience!
This is the main problem with "creeper", with some people who don't know any better, they take it, wait twenty minutes and don't feel anything so they decide to TAKE ANOTHER even before the first one's had a chance to dissolve and circulate through their bodies and brain, and it's not until another twenty minutes or so later they feel the effects from the FIRST pill and it NOT being a DUD,..... when the second pill hits home man these kids minds are fully fu*k'in blown and it sure as fu*k wouldn't be fun or enjoyable i can assure you on that!
Steve-O had a tube up his butt there!
Posted by James DeWeaver
| tags: steve-o had a tube up his butt there James DeWeaver australian generation x artist johnny knoxville #realjknoxville
To be read after "What did 50 Cent just say" for continuity in -- "96hrs. to L.A. and back"!
After we passed by the passed out Dyrdek and friend, "What did they have anyway....... who the fu*k knows or cares" this place reminded me more of my older brothers Fraternity House. There were what we call in Australia the "piss-heads" in here ,all failed party-goers, too much fun is never enough for some and these were only a small group of these unfortunate sods, as they are really gonna miss the BEST part of this party now, and the Party and the drugs are certainly heading the three of us in that direction!
The MDMA we all had earlier has still not "peaked out" yet and we're all feel'in really good, and this is the point, NONE of us have had a drop of alcohol, all we've had is H2o and the "ladies" had a orange juice with soda, orange juice is too acidic for me so i had a cloudy apple juice,........ anytime you can take vitamin C in a drink like the ones we've had, will prolong the MDMA as the vitamin C and the "Eccy" combine in away which somehow enhance the delivery mechanism within the brain and a prolongation of sensation occurs.
I shouldn't say this place reminded me of my older brother's Fraternity House, SEEING Dyrdek passed out there really is what reminded me of the Tau Kappa Epsilon Fraternity House my brother was a member of at a University in Ohio. This place was just as elaborate and well appointed as all the other places i had seen on the property which at this point really wasn't many. We were on a "mission" and as we headed upstairs to get a better or should i say a more "panoramic" perpective of who was below us and maybe the best way to navigate around or through the throng of people, the word must of gotten out as this place is starting to rage all around us as whipping by us down the flight of stairs was that fat kid from that television series which fired "GOOD OLE' CHARLIE SHEEN", that's right "Two and a half men",..........."What the fu*k is that little prick doing here"?
"Who gives a FU*K!,.......... i didn't, but i'm glad i saw him for one reason and one reason only and that was that it reminded me that i still had probably a quarter ounce of the "good ole' Charlie Sheen" which i had brought with me just in case,................ and that case was close!
Then a brunette with her tits flopping out of her top came charging down the stairs,......... the three of us back up and looked at each other and begin to crack up as this "sheila" was completely unaware of what was happening obviously or couldn't of given a sh*t, probably the latter there for sure, i mean it was only her tits flopp'in out, hell it's not like she was showing everyone her "beaver", although i wouldn't of been bothered or complained if she had,........ that's alright by me feel free, ............if she was feeling "compelled" to show me the "beav" oh well, gee that's REALLY gonna put me off partying NOT!!
We don't head out to the verandah like i thought we were going to, instead Sonya takes us up to the very top of the building which has a "widow's walk" on the top. A very unique "widow's walk" as it's much broader than a usual one which is good for us as we now have the ultimate viewpoint to look for the nimble octagenarian Hef, who's bound to be the center of the action where-ever he is!
This is a good time right about now to roll up a "Charlie Sheen" splifter, we're the only ones here of course and this locality allows us to look at everyone below and the musical entertainment at several venues on the grounds with the closest to us being Jon Mayer, figure he'd be fu*k'in here, not one of my favorite celebs by any means, but i'm not watching him...... fu*khead, i just wanna roll this doobie and come to some kind of level in my head, as the day had been very long for me at this point and i was not about to quit this, it was just that i needed to buzz-out abit with the "lovely ladies", what was going on down below could wait another fifteen minutes, what harm could that do?
I can see from my vantage point that idiot Jacka*s Johnny Knoxville, now there's a total fu*kstick, i wouldn't go near that dude if you paid me, although HE would probably like the James Joyce book i have back where i'm staying, WE ALL KNOW Johnny like's the anal humor........... Christ i couldn't believe what the fu*k they show on that movie, people pretending to be volcano's and shitting an eruption! are you fu*k'in kidding me, since when does this pass for being funny, it's disgusting, and seeing Steve-O down below having a rubber tube up his rectum and "swallowing" a two litre jug of beer while people laugh and applaud as if it's the greatest thing they've ever witnessed! "What the hell", i'm sure as fu*k NO conservative Christian but i would think that this is really not quite acceptable behaviour except to the most deviant and perverse umongst us, people like Charles Ng and Leonard Lake, sicko's like this are people who'd think Knoxville's humour is funny!
What did "50 Cent" just say to me?
Posted by James DeWeaver
| tags: what did 50 cent just say to me James DeWeaver australian generation x artist rob dyrdeck 50 cent #50cent #robdyrdek
To be read after "Robert Downey Jr. asked me?" for continuity.
I decide to attack this problem of not being able to find Hef from a whole new angle and ask Sonya if we can get up somewehere above the crowd to see if we can catch an eye on the elusive Hef, if he's out here we should be able to see as i look up and point to the verandah on the second floor to Sonya .......she agree's and the three of us continue on our mission and as we do Richie Sambora from Bon Jovi, the very band which Wayne Isham did video's for and now he's here aswell,.......which thinking about it is no real surprise, he and Heather Locklear are no longer an item, he's a "Rock Star" with heaps of money should be no problem locating some quim here for ole' Richie i'd say, his two aren't as nice as mine though as he does take some notice as he rubbernecks passed the three of us, Sonya and Meredith were "Stunners" and Richie like any good dog could clearly see that!
We get to the entrance of the building which is not the Mansion but an additional building/area for entertaining and the place is "completely chockers" ,full house big time, i'm thinking to myself and ask Sonya "what's going on in here any idea"?, she's got no idea so we begin again to make our way through pretty heavy going, there's Ben Folds and Beck having a chat or atleast trying to and that rather slutty American Actress Jennifer Tilley is here, she wore an outfit that really makes her look like a streetwalker tonight i can tell you, ............ she really is what's called in Australia an"old Shagger"!
Meredith see's a good friend of her's from College and want's to go over and talk to her quickly, i've got no problems at all with that so we head over,.... she recognizes Meredith as her attention is diverted from this guy who had his head turned away from our direction, it wasn't until but three feet away the recognition of the guy hit home....."it was Fifty Cent, what's Fifty Cent doing here?take that back, man i take that back, looking at this fine honey colored angel he's talking to i know what he's doing here, as would any red blooded man with a pulse, and that was to be here tonight, there was atleast two to one girls to guys ratio tonight and clearly ole' Fifty heard the "call of the wild" and couldn't help himself!
We only briefly talked......... i really had a hard time understanding him mumble, it may of been the "Ebonics" or something, but i have to say one thing here and now........... this guy may have tons of money but in reality is an under-educated thug who struck it lucky, he's had very good business advice from what i understand, i.e Vitamin water, which more importantly he's taken and has done well from those investments and diversified but still, just a product of a poor father-less ghetto upbringing and as i say, "you can take 50 out of the Ghetto, but ya can't take the Ghetto out a 50"!
I want to move on PRONTO, this guy's starting to mumble way too much for me and it really becomes a task to interpret what the fu*k he's say'in so we jet as fast as we can past some totally legless and passed-out dude,.......Rob Dyrdek, a pro-skater apparently and (un-tripmanure, that's the way 50 Cent said "Entrepeneur"), now that's what i call "hardcore" passing-out at the Playboy Mansion at the "Save the Hollywood sign" Fundraiser, way too fu*king go Rob!. He may of been just tired and the half naked chick passed out on top of the guy,........funny as sh*t!, i took a couple of photo's for the hell of it, i'll e-mail them to him at a later date!
Robert Downey Jr. asked me?
Posted by James DeWeaver
| tags: Robert Downey Jr. asked me James DeWeaver australian generation x artist wayne isham bon jovi #RobertJrDowney
To be read after "Shannon Tweed's see through top" for continuity.
We'd only begun to hit the fringe of the real party-goers, it was still early and i'm starting to think the four of us together is abit of overkill, so i'm thinking of making it just a threesome and dropping of Sunshine with some unsuspecting partier!
I see a guy with long blonde hair just coming back from this enormous buffet which has been laid out,(now i know why Rollin's is here.......free food!) he's got a pair of black sunglasses on and it's one thirty in the morning, he's totally cool! We stroll on over to him as he walks backs by himself through the crowd and i can't begin tell you exactly what i said to him, not that i don't want to tell you it's just i was fairly blitzed, but he had a big smile on his face after i had finished, a very stoked guy who was also in fact a very interesting person in the real world as i soon was to find out!
I had no idea who he was when we first spotted him, but like most people here, Wayne was no recognizable celebrity, but he did work with alot of celebrities and knew most of them.
Wayne Isham (pronounced eye-sham) was his name, and happened to be a very well known music video Director from the eighties really, Bon Jovi was the main band that Wayne did video's for, but he also did the AHA video, "Take on me" and created that form of animation which is seen in the video called "Ishamation".
Sunshine's was totally in her element with Wayne who'd arrived "solo", and as we say goodbye to them both, we begin to shuffle our way through the denser and denser crowd, which from ground level you couldn't really tell how many people were here but there were sh*tloads!
Who'd of thought that so many people wanted to save the "Hollywood"sign!
NOT ME!, all these people were just here to party their butts off and meet really cool and interesting types, as there's a real variety of Artists present, not Artists like myself just Artist's in general, Writers, Poets,Thinkers, Playwrights, Directors, Visual Artists, Musicians, models, Photographers, creating a small but well connected group of modern day Bohemians which now had the oppurtunity to interact and form new contacts and maybe ultimately create or do something from this moment of intellectual "serendipity"!
Wayne had told us before we left the two of them that Hef wasn't anywhere near the buffet, and he last saw Hef in a direction he pointed to, that was it, that was all we had so we began to slowly extricate ourselves from the mass of bodies, but the Playmate's are ALL OVER THE JOINT and love to grind which is fine by me as i'm really in no hurry, we just gotta find Hef and we're good to go then, bring it fu*k'in on i say the sooner the better!
Robert Downey Jr. was just about to pass by when he looked right at me and asked me "How did i get so lucky?" and before i had a chance to reply he was already passed us in this deluge of humans moving in various directions,"that was weird, what exactly did he mean"?
I didn't see him at all again the rest of the night, but he was right,.... i was sure fu*k'in lucky sport'in these two babes, my "companions", must of been Robert hadn't been so lucky and wanted to get in on my action, i never would of let him of course, i couldn't of given a fu*k who he was or is, the truth is if i had too, i would've slammed him if he'd of tried!
That's important, treat these Celebrities just like anyone else, if your cool with them and aren't a "brown-noser"you'll get some respect, but if they show no respect to you, never show respect to them, "Act like an AS*HOLE, then you get treated like an AS*HOLE" is a good rule to go by with Celebrities!
Shannon Tweed's see through top!
Posted by James DeWeaver
| tags: shannon tweed's see through top James DeWeaver australian generation x artist playboy hefner henry rollins hallie berry
To be read after "I thought he was Chuck Norris" for continuity.
Having Sonya there made everything just gel, when i was talking to people like Jean-Paul she'd just talk to the partner and in Jean-Paul's case his wife, it was easy for her as they both had been Playmates and could've probably spoken forever but she was mindful that i was there to mingle and meet people and would happily move from wherever we were to somewhere else if i'd wanted to.
My main priority at this point was to catch up with Hef, when your at the Playboy Mansion it would only be common sense to do this first, so i let Sonya know we gotta find Hef -she agree'd with me on that, the only problem is we didn't know where he was exactly so we'd have to wander around and mingle until we could find him.
We head outside to the large marquee's which are set up and there are TONS of people out here, well atleast many many more than are inside. I start to recognize some of the "new" Hollywood and the "old" Hollywood, i don't know their names in some cases like that guy from Spiderman, Toby something or other i think,well he was there talking with Tom Cruise's ex-wife, didn't know her name but Sonya helped fill in the blank, ya see i'm not really big on this corporate movie actor situation which has been going on, so i don't really ever see these insipid creations modelled to entertain the most stupid people in the culture in many cases, as then it will also appeal apparently to kids, who always love to see adults act like retards and are then mocked and riddiculed by their "on-screen actor children", and then when these little kids have seen "this" actor child do it on the movie screen and can't differentiate reality and fiction it then becomes o.k. for them to act like this in real life to their real parents,......... why not, everyone laughed inside the theatre when it happened didn't they, huh and we wonder why children today have little to no respect for anyone other than themselves. If it were possible to have a more self-centered and selfish generation than the "Baby Doomers" i would of thought not possible, but it's become apparent they've past these genes on through to the next generation.
I've got no real desire to talk to people who i've little or no respect for here at the "Fundraiser" tonight and i made that perfectly clear to Sonya earlier on. I have standards as all of us do, and i'm not here to entertain i'm here for fun, as i see to my immediate left a group sittting down and are all focused on one particular person, that being a Mr.Henry Rollins, "Now there's someone i'd listen to, when Henry speaks people listen, why's that?
Mr. Rollins is as straight forward as it gets when it comes to talking the true, high speed low bullsh*t factor truth straight up!
When it comes to Henry and him telling the truth i think this is one of his greatest personality assets which i can relate to very much and appreciate it aswell. Now here's one dude(Henry wouldn't like me calling him a dude, but i'm being respectful about it!) who's seen the "real world" unlike many others, growing up in D.C., seeing his good friend getting shot in the head by the Police, being at the epicentre of the American Punk scene when there WAS a Punk scene, he watched Independent Record labels get swallowed up by the Corporations, which at last put the final nail in the coffin for the independents and any really creative musical acts and genius musicians who were ahead of their time) i'd stop and listen to him but Sonya's caught her eye on Hef who's somewhere i didn't catch, but i did catch Hallie Berry, what a "Glamour" she was,... not that young anymore and has had acouple of pups but can still "SCHWING",....... hey Gene Simmons from KISS and Shannon Tweed, who still was sporting if i don't says so myself just a huge set of juggs with nipples poking,... the see through top "highlighted" them superbly, no surprise there as Shannon was a Playmate aswell back in the eighties, her picture "SPREAD" with bush was back in the tunnel, but i have to say that Gene Simmons looked truly awful, white as a ghost with dyed black hair and the worst plastic looking facelift since Liza Minelli's Ex David Guest "horror face"-just a shocker-!
I thought he was Chuck Norris!
Posted by James DeWeaver
| tags: jean paul dejoria australian generation x artist James DeWeaver i thought he was chuck norris
To be read after "Ferris Bueller wouldn't even know" for continuity.
We get up the landing steps to what looks to me like some sort of maze as there are three directions to go and according to Sonya each will take you to a different part of the mansion, and as we were going to where the "Fundraiser" was going on we needed to go left.
This labyrinth of underground elaborate tunnels was truly something to wonder at, as these are the same types of tunnels that dictators like Ghaddafi and Saddam Hussein had underneath their Mansions aswell, but i'm sure they didn't have what was all along these walls that's for sure, minge from end to end, the "ladies" could care less their not offended or bothered in anyway by the "Art" either am i it's totally eye-popping!
As these are secret tunnels and exits we want to come out as close to the party as possible without giving away the location on what the outside would NOT see as an exit and then possibly giving away it's "secret" location. Sonya decides that we'll exit inside the reading room as this would not be a place where any of the people there would likely be. Sure enough when we get to the "jump off" point no one is there and we open the door and find ourselves inside a very elaborate and incredibly well appointed vast library, with works which were to good or too valuable to have in the house i was staying at without a doubt, i saw an original Gutenberg printed manuscript by the man himself, the man credited for the printing press! We stay a mere few seconds and then head out the door into a darkened corridor which leads us to the cacophony and bright lights of the Fundraiser.
We get some water and mingle around and strike-up conversations with almost anyone, this was like eveyone dropped their external fake image of themselves (ego) and was just basically themselves apart from only a few exceptions i was to find out during the night!
I was not the only "NON CELEBRITY" there aswell, i met a guy named Jean-Paul and his super glamourous wife who's name i no longer can remember but she was a total honey AND a former Playboy bunny twenty odd years ago hence her being here tonight with her husband Jean-Paul. We had a really cool talk about many many topics all of which he was exceptionally well informed on all of them as far as i was concerned, he was if you just looked at him nothing special, looked abit like Chuck Norris to me that's why i initially went over to talk to him...........your not about to recognize him if you saw him but guess what, Jean-Paul just happens to be THE GUY behind the Paul Mitchell brand of all kinds of hair products and is worth many BILLIONS, and to top it off, when he found out how long i was in town for and what i did for a living, aswell as why i had been invited to the "Fundraiser", he and his wife then invited me to come over to their Malibu place and have lunch and maybe have a look at a space on the wall which they haven't quite been able to come to an agreement on, what should go there basically and maybe i could perhaps do something for the space, cool, no worries, i couldn't believe it another possible commission and an invite to another over the top billionaires Mansion, all twelve thousand square feet of it if my memory serves me correctly,.....unreal.... the day before i leave is when i go to see Mr. J.P. Dejoria and his wife!
Ferris Bueller wouldn't even know!
Posted by James DeWeaver
| tags: ferris bueller wouldn't even know James DeWeaver australian generation x artist
To be read after "Why was Fred Durst there" for continuity.
It's not long before we see another monorail car heading towards us on the track next to ours, didn't recognize any of them,.... the redhead in the g-string bikini was quite impressive though and VERY memorable!
We soon get to the "station" we needed to get off at although there were tracks leading further along, these would remain a mystery for now, this place could be like the underground in Paris, where you can go below ground and wander around the sub-terranean tunnels and catacombs which are as old as Paris, a totally wild time and if you ever get the oppurtunity to have a look- only with a good guide though- then go for it, just like i'm doing now with Sonya and the two tag alongs.
Sonya is my key too not being looked at all night like i'm someone suss or out of place........as i would be, these people are way out of my league i'll be the very first, second and third to tell you that, but I was here as an Invited guest, and i had my very own special little Playboy pin with a diamond eye as subtle proof to any security that i was in fact a guest and NOT to be hassled. In the end it was better for me that i wasn't a recognised "Celebrity" as i was later to find out all through the night!
We have to go through a similar glass door arrangement and inside to my left i see a Playboy with what looks like to me atleast Arabic writing underneath the Playboy Brand, i ask Sonya about this and it is the version which is sold in places like Iran and Saudi Arabia, "no shit i had no clue about that, i would of thought something like this would be a good enough cause to get a Mullah revved up enough too get the secret Police to "disappear" the most unfortunate person getting caught with it!
I've been to this region of the world, which country will remain anonymous for now as i'd like to be able to return someday, but in short i was staying along the coast in a rather large modern city in a high rise building five star hotel, a safe place for foreigners no fu*k'in doubt as this one morning i was woken by what sounded to me atleast like a riot of some kind going on not far from my building, i got out of bed proceeded to put some more clothes on and grab my video camera to see if i could film anything interesting, like maybe a riot!
It wasn't a riot at all in the end, i slowly opened my door to my verandah and crouched down as low as i could to avoid detection for any on-lookers and slowly bellied out to a point where i could see something i would never forget!
It was a large angry crowd alright,-- three maybe four hundred men and little kids mainly and they all encircled three men who clearly had their hands taped or bound atleast and were the center of THIS MOB'S anger, the Police were there aswell and were mere observers to what was about to take place.
These three men were lead, as they were all either beaten up or drugged, something, but they arrived at a flat concrete circle right near the waterside, a very large concrete cirle maybe twenty five meter radius in clear view to the public or ANYONE like myself who was yet to see what Sharia Law does to it's criminals!
They were placed in the center of this described circle and forced to kneel upon which EVERYONE cleared the circle, an Arena it now had become and the blood thirsty viewers all had their front row seats awaiting the "kick off", and they weren't long disappointed.
A large white limousine slowly pulls up from nowhere as i'm videoing this and am totally focused on this action. I focus on this car to what this has to do with this and as i do i see through my video display a really tall Negro man get out with a reeeaaaallllyyyyy fu*k'in long sword, it was probably about four feet long for my guess-timation, and it wasn't really until i saw him walk through a very quickly parting crowd that his true giant size became apparent. He was a very black black negro man i have no idea about him other than this, he was ATLEAST seven feet tall, as he was atleast two feet taller than ANYONE in this entire crowd and i've got the video to prove it. He' dress entirely in white, and a white head piece and a long sword which every now and then catches the sun and flickers it's brilliant light my way.
He eventually arrives at the centre of the circle, by now these three are seperated by about five feet or so and all of them have their hands behind their back with their heads bend down. The crowd has gone silent upon this man arrival and there's very good reason for which which all about to seeing in an archaic form of justice in the modern day atleast as seen by a Westerner.
This big negro man proceeded to circle them one time and then arrive to a stopping point behind the first of his duties. He lifted the sword one time vertically then very slowly tapped on the doomed mans right shoulder on which this man quickly lifted his head up and in one clear swoop with this giant negro's sword it was FU*KING OFF, body went one way with blood just flowing out and the head unded up about three feet away...........some fu*k'in way to start the new day.
How many people reading this now knew that Playboy was sold in markets like the ones i've mentioned .............anyone.............anyone............Bueller...............Buelller, Not even Ferris Bueller would of known that and if you said you knew about it your one in a million!
Why was Fred Durst there?
Posted by James DeWeaver
| tags: #freddurst James DeWeaver why was fred durst there australian generation x artist
To be read after "We do a ninja mission on the mansion property" for continuity.
I figure at this point in time it's probably a good idea to let Sonya drive this pink golf cart sized monorail car which is used as Sonya tells us for quick private and fast way for the "live in" playmate's to get to the main house and back again.
We all get in and Sonya's a pro, she's done this many times before and off we go, not fast about ten miles an hour i guess, she tell us to take a look over to the left alittle further up, it's called the "Half Way", talk about a secretive and secluded "Night club, basically i see as we approach a glass faced front room with all sorts of colorful lights and lasers coming through it and three women standing out front. The music is getting louder as we approach, i'm beginning to think "What the hell is this" Sonya tells us this is a "TOTALLY EXCLUSIVE" party zone and we can have a look as we go by but we can't go in", apparently this would be the place to end up after a good night out!
We hover by completely silent, this car ran on magnets and with the music on we went by completely unseen,..... but i had a quick look and saw someone who i certainly recognized, George Clooney was one of the guys i saw in there as we went by, this car's top speed was ten miles an hour so we had a long enough time to see, Sunshine said Drew Barrymore was there aswell as Fred Durst from Limp bizkit, at this point in time i'm more than completely conscious of the calibre of Celebrity that at this Party!
Fred Durst, "what the hell is Fred Durst doing in a nightclub twenty feet or so underground on the Playboy Mansion property? Maybe he was there for "THE NOOKIE"!
This tunnel is quite the engineering "trip", the lighting is changing in different tones of primary colors, excellent as it's easy on the eyes which after being underground for any length of time you don't need the light to be too bright that's for fu*k'in sure, ESPECIALLY when your on MDMA aswell!
As i can see the walls go by i notice they have on them large prints of the Playmates from different era's and as we went through i would have to say that the Playmate from the nineteen seventies were in my personal opinion the best out of ALL the generations of Playmates, "They all had pubic hair, a rare sight indeed and a bonus in my books!". I wondered where some of them are know, and what they look like as forty plus years had gone by in some cases, Sonya's like an encyclopedia with her knowledge on them, she points out one's that are dead, some of them didn't even get past FORTY! "Dying young is not uncommon for Playmates" Sonya mournfully laments! "they die young and beautiful though" she says with a quick wink and a large smile.
Nineteen Eighty comes up and all i begin to see is this,...... there's a larger than normal sized print of a Playmate named Dorothy Stratten, the movie "Star 80" was made in memory of her. An angelic face with a beauty that leaves the meaning of the word beauty in second place,... just a knockout! Sonya starts but i place my hand on her leg and tell her not to say anything, i was more than aware of the fate of Ms.Stratten and didn't need to hear her recount the horrific circumstances which led to her being brutally shot to death by her "boyfriend" Paul Snyder, a sadistic and bizarre sociopath who was no more than a parasite on what "HE KNEW" would be a good thing, and it was..................until he shot Dorothy and then put the gun to his head and squeezed the trigger,............. good fu*k'in riddance to a truly horrible man!
"Hey, snap out of it" Sonya quickly says to me, she's trying to bring me back to where i was, and i do ,.........snap out of it that is,.... it was a "mental timewarp" i was in, emotions and circumstances which are forever embedded in your brain and that are there FOREVER in some cases are there for a reason, trying to work out the reason is a whole different problem though, and NOT one i'm here too try to solve tonight that's for fu*k'in sure!
We do a ninja mission on the mansion property!
Posted by James DeWeaver
| tags: we do a ninja mission on the mansion property James DeWeaver australian generation x artist #KimKardashian
To be read after "Kim Kardashian showed us her real Bum" for continuity.
This truly aweful film i speak of is titled "Can't Stop the Music" and it was filmed around nineteen eighty i guess, and has Steve Guttenberg in it, he later went on to do all those "Police Academy" movies and probably ended up rather successful unlike the plastic surgery gone wrong Bruce Jenner, talk about fake looking! This film raspberry also has the "Village People" in it, they were actually the only part of the movie that was halfway decent, they had some sort of main role in the movie it's hard to remember although it was only two-three years ago as i had been given some LSD-25 by a good friend and was tripping fairly hard at that point in the night,... sh*t it WAS New Years Eve!
I remember Bruce Jenner being on cereal boxes when i lived in America, he was an Olympian, a famed sportsman of the era, a man with a great deal of respect and admiration,....... boy how sh*t changes, now this guy sells his own children as a commercial property, the one's he had with the old Kardashian shagger who's name i don't know and don't care too know, she would have to be the epitome of a "stage mom" gone chronically wrong, except she's under the delusion that people give two shits about her aswell, when the reality is most people would rather throw eggs at her than talk to her,............ hell i know i would fu*k yeah!
There must be alot of perves around who think this very ethnic Kardashian look is one to be sought after, this certainly show's too me how much America has changed since my departure in eighty four. This very ethnic look would of never made it into the mainstream or popular culture, but as like Australia, the rampant and apparently unstoppable illegal immigration of different peoples from foreign lands arriving into a culture which has been traditionally NOT what it is now, and in that extent the Kardashians have taken advantage of this change and have somehow positioned themselves into a very lucrative niche in a society that would of only twenty five years ago shunned them.
This is the situation i tell the "ladies" "we'll just get out now, i'm sure as hell not gonna wait behind a complete fu*king wanker like Bruce "I'm a total di*khead"Jenner, and on three let's jet, i tell Otis over the intercom we're getting out now, we're gonna get into the party our own way, he tells me to take the little paging device which alows me to let him know when we want to leave, i grab it before i follow the "ladies" out last.
Sonya knows her way around the layout and we followed behind her to an access doorway which she was very familiar with, as it was to the apartments that the Playmates stay at while they want to or are invited to or just plain decide to stay there for however long!
We follow her into a "closet", yep no sh*t, this closet though had a secret door which we went through to get down one flight of stairs, through one set of glass doors to a mini rail system, complete with four seater cars which would take us about eighty yards underground to the "station" in the Mansion proper.
Kim Kardashian showed us her real Bum!
Posted by James DeWeaver
| tags: #KimKardashian Kim Kardashian australian generation x artist James DeWeaver kim kardashian showed us her real bum
To be read after "Off To the Playboy Mansion we go" for continuity.
We've all regained our composure to some extent, for how long i can't tell you but as we turn into the driveway, we can see there are atleast six already ahead of us which means we've gotta wait until everyone in the limo's in front can get out and be "greeted"'
We chill that is until Otis relays to us that the limo two ahead of us had Kim Kardashian in it, we pause very briefly and then burst out into our crazy laughter only for a moment, then i began to tell the "ladies" about something i had seen on the cable one day while i was channel surfing.
I didn't see the whole program, it was on their reality program, the one that's so bad i can't see why it's even watched, talk about mindless drivel. Well from what i could gather, they somehow came across some dirty, homeless, brain damaged, alcoholic half-whit named Shorty, whisked him up into The Kardashian Whirlwind giving him some kind of really off Rikki Lake makeover gone pear shaped,...... then having this rather disturbed man into their mansion after he's had this makeover for the "big reveal" how terribly unexciting it was in reality but the girls played their act of good samaritan to the hilt.
Well when "Shorty" came in for the big reveal makeover, he looked worse than he did before, sure he had clean clothes on big fu*k'in deal, and he was shaved, but they must of done some kind of derma brasion therapy on the poor guy aswell as his now unshaven face was the color of a tomato, and due to his alcohol induced brain damage was unable to express i'm sure in his total disgust at what they'd done to him,.. and they did exploit this bum for their own benefit, instead of her bum!
The last i saw was Kimmy attempting to be compassionate to this homeless guy right, so she takes this maybe twenty dollar heart shaped trinket of her wrist and say's something so sickening i refuse to remind myself of that moment...... but i was thinking, shit,......... THEY'RE worth sixty million a year apparently and for fu*k'in what,....... and they can't think of something better to give to a homeless guy other than a twenty fu*k'in dollar trinket, ........are you fu*k'in kidding me,!........ how about a new clean blanket and a towel, toothbrush and soap, maybe a paid voucher at the Supermarket, SOMETHING which this mans gonna NEED when he's trying to survive on the killer streets of Los Angeles day and night! If Kim had dynamite for brains, she couldn't even blow her nose! What a thoughtless and heartless creature this cold hearted charlatan/harlot is!
Kim and her sasquatch sister Khloe came out to Australia about two years ago for the Horse races put on down in the state of Victoria, and she was paid one hundred thousand dollars just to go to the race and watch one horse race i kid you not!
This has really got my mood where i was unprepared to go then Otis says "Bruce Jenner's in the limo aswell" well that was just about all i could take, Bruce Jenner, not Bruce "FU*K'IN" Jenner...........hell, ...he's responsible for attempting to act in one of "THE WORST FILMS I'VE EVER SEEN"
Off to the "Playboy Party" we go!
Posted by James DeWeaver
| tags: off to the playboy party we go James DeWeaver australian generation x artist #Playboy
To be read after "The drugs began to take effect" for continuity.
We were all just a mess, i began to laugh so much and so hard that i thought i was gonna throw up, fortunately i learned a trick in my youth which i was able to apply in this most unusal circumstance. i can't here and now explain what it is exactly but it helped pull me into reality again thank Christ!
I hadn't even really noticed that the inside had become more of a old fashioned "Discotheque", light and mirror balls, slightly kitsch but the effect it had was a great way to arrive at "The King" of the classic seventies disco era parties.
The sound system was out of control, Sunshine put on some just mind fu*k'inly great progressive psychedelic trance music and this got the limo rock'in totally, she told me later it was a group from Isreal called "Infected Mushroom".
Time was on our side, we'd left early and were now on our way to Hollywood, though i thought we were having such an "off the wall" drug experience, anything less than this, or where people who aren't off their nut like we were would be a TOTAL COMEDOWN"!
We have little choice in that though, if i want to get this commission i've GOT to make an appearance at this gig tonight! This was one of the main reasons i was brought over in the first place and if i wanted to continue this amazing once in a lifetime trip i better fu*k'in get there.
Sonya had been to the Playboy Mansion many times, but was never one of Hef's mistresses she tells me, " i'm not into men my grandfathers age" we all have another belly laugh........man my mouth and jaw is starting to hurt from all this laughing,....... we've all really gotta straighten up abit, and when Otis mention's through the speakers we're ten minutes away this takes on more importance now than ever!
This isn't easy, if you've even had what we've all had you'll probably understand why it's so difficult to be fully wired on drugs one moment, the next you've gotta act straight and talk to people who are gonna think your somekind of fu*k'in maniac if you act like you really felt at that time,.............it's by no means easy, it takes practice trust me!
The "Ladies" begin to get themselves straightened up and check their make-up isn't screwed up, and all the tears from that very laughter none of us could really help ourselves, and none of us really cared then anyway we were having a blast!
Sonya and Summer are onto it quickly, NOT Meredith, the makeup done by the computer is still like it was when we left, she just looks SENSATIONAL!
We arrive on the street to enter the Mansion property entrance and before we get there Sonya tells us that the Mansion itself is not really all that big, there are alot of detached villa's and living areas around the property though, aswell as a zoo as we're all about to find out.