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Snoop Dogg was nowhere in sight!

                 To be read after "She had gotten off by almost getting me off" for continuity in - 96hrs. to L.A. and back!

 I remember standing there thinking to myself after this angel departed well what the hell was that about? I reckon she was just horny as i look in the mirror while washing my hands and face briskly to try too liven up some more, that little brief interlude certainly helped "wake me up"!

 I also remember think that there was NO WAY i was going to tell anyone else, ESPECIALLY Sonya or Meredith, that was info not required to know for these two, this would remain unknown to them the entire time, sh*t if i had told Sonya for one she probably would of known her and two it was just something that they really didn't need to know, i knew one thing for sure though and that was i would not be seeing her ever again.

 I got back to our agreed point of meeting i they ladies looked "good as gold", not that they went in looking bad but when they came out they were looking even better! The memory of what happened in the bathroom instantly fades, as i know that two are ALWAYS better than one, and at the end of the night i'll be heading "home" with these two regardless of what i do.

 Sonya took my hand and i Meredith's and we were off, through the internal labrynith of the "Playboy Mansion", this is as good as it gets if you ask me, if people could really grasp the cultural significance of what culminated in and through one man's vision and dream come to life they'd realize aswell that this glorification and sexualization of women has come full circle with men in the culture today, and you don't see people complaining and marching and picketing and writing in letters to their Government reps both local and state as what happened when Hef's vision hit the streets. The religious right came out in full force with good ole' Anita something or other at the forefront, and of course Betty Friedan ............ what a piece of work she was! This all goes back before my time really, but i've seen alot of doco footage and vastly differing interpretations of this time period of the sexual revolution in American during the height of Playboy.

 All these radically religious middle-aged and barren hate filled hags who'd centered their targets over a bloke who probably saved more marriage's than harmed, couldn't do or say enough too damage Hef's vision and look where THEY are all now,.............. dead, or Institutionalized..................... NOT HEF

 "Where's he at" i ask Sonya, "viewing the negatives for the New Years edition" she say's "this is where the final picture of the shoot are selected to be in the edition", great, i get to see the latest issue before it's even out in the new year!

 We finally arrived after our little "attempted" bailout failed earlier, Sonya knocked................ we waited................... "come on in" was the eventual reply in a voice which i instantly recognize, and as we walk in i see why the hesitation, he's peering over a glow table with some of the prints being closely examined with a rather larged magnifiying glass, "Ah......... James, thought we'd almost lost ya there"! "you knew we left?" i say smiling, "James,........i know most things that go on around here and did you forget about the "bubble" around your neck, ah "the bubble", of course,  this was like an active RHF signal very easily traced and tracked, knowing this he's probably known the whole time where we were and what we were up to, not that it both's me, the security feature well outweigh any other use for this "bubble",........ shit, it's not like it had stopped me from doing anything i didn't already want too do! 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by James DeWeaver on 12/15/12 | tags: Snoop Dogg was nowhere in sight James DeWeaver australian generation x artist




She had gotten off by almost getting me off!

                To be read after "Time and MDMA are strange companions" for continuity in-96 hrs. to L.A. and back-

  We stagger out of the limo after the door opens, Otis says he'll be right here as there's no need to move at this point in time, i take note and we head past the security guys we passed by no more than fifteen minutes earlier heading in the OTHER direction!

 The "ladies" need to freshen up abit as do i so we decide to go to the restrooms and atleast look as presentable as possible, they were looking fine no worse for wear at all, the "make-up computer" which Meredith had used back at the "house" had done its trick as she still looked phenominal ,...........were as i on the other hand looked "like a dog's dinner", but wasn't feeling as bad as i was looking i can tell ya!

 Sonya points me in the directions i need to go to get to the "head" and we agree to meet back here, the same spot in about five minutes, "no worries" i tell them and i'm off.

 Now this is the "main" house we're in, not as big as some people think, i mean it is big, really big, it's not huge is what i'm saying, so it shouldn't be too difficult for me to find the place right.....................wrong!

 I was really in another dimension in my head i guess, i followed the directions Sonya told me, it's just that i ended up walking into the wrong bathroom, i walked in and there was a woman in there washing her hands, i might add a well preserved woman i'd guess to of been in her early forties, I apoligize to her rather effusively as i was rather embarrassed, she tells me she's done and that this is a "unisex" bathroom anyway, "great i'm thinking", and then i suddenly recognize her from the tunnel ride on the monorail.

 SHE was a Playmate from the late eighties or early ninties, i don't remember exactly and i DON'T tell her this, she's NOT in a party outfit although there's was NO DOUBT she was there as she's still got some makeup on and a rich red lipstick. She was actually just wearing some rather ordinary white night lingerie, top was see through i might add,(stunning and rather large real breasts) as this part of the house is for the "special" visitors and she sure as fu*k was "special", the one thing she had over Sonya and Meredith was time, for her beauty was not surpassed by either of the younger women, this WOMAN really was one know doubt in my mind and in what i was seeing, and like a complete doll that she was asked me if she can "help me out " as i guessed in her eyes i looked like i needed it and as she came along side of me and placed my right arm over her shoulder, she was also a tall woman aswell which helped, i didn't really require her assistance but she so nice i didn't want to hurt her feelings in anyway, so we began to slowly walk over to the wall urinal in tandem, we reach the destination and before i can say anything to her for her help my zipper was down and my co*k was out i kid you not, "go ahead" she said to me as i willingly let her take aim for me now as she really did want to help me and i was all too willing i can tell ya!

 I finished and she gave me a quick few shakes, not so much shakes more like rubbing lengthwise which i thought was really for her own pleasure and enjoyment really as she practically masturbated me, i wouldn't say she took advantage of me when i was vulnerable and drug-fu*ked though, i knew the whole fu*k'in time what this "sheila" was up too! After her "fun time" she proceeded to grabbed a tissue to make sure i was dry after the piss which i have to admit was very thoughtful indeed, put my dick back into my underwear, zipped me up and walked me over to the wash area at which point she told me she was "off to bed now" wink wink, and that she was three doors down and to the left if i got "lost" again, i thanked her but never caught her name and she thanked me which was kind of strange i thought until i realized she had gotten off by almost getting me off!  

 

Posted by James DeWeaver on 12/14/12 | tags: James DeWeaver she had gotten off by almost getting me off australian generation x artist




Time and MDMA are strange companions!

                                     To be read after " Rolling a good joint is a real Talent" for continuity.

  Sonya starts to hand this five inch long joint in my direction but i stop and insist she do the honors of having the first tokes, a common rule in my books is, if someone makes it then they should naturally be the first to enjoy the rewards of their effort, both Meredith and Sonya were lightweights when it came to smoking weed so i knew it wouldn't be long before it headed in my direction. I was really hoping it would give me abit of a mental pick-up, i was alright though, totally toasted, but as long as i could sit down and have a spliff every now and again i was fine and soon enough i had the "trumpet", it tasted great, there must of been another bud mixed in with it as it had a different flavor than the first few "scoobie's" we'd already had during the night earlier on.

 I had two or three tokes on it when Sonya's phone rang, i was glad my phone was off for now i was in lala land and feel'in good and wanted to stay that way for now, i'd check soon enough for any new messages anyway.

 Sonya was done in no time and said "that was Barbara, Hef's P.A., she thinks we're still at the party", "ah....... you didn't tell her we left"? i reply, "no, we gotta turn around and head back, he's expecting us and i know right where he's at", Sonya had the call on this one, she'd been such a great companion as was Meredith incidentally, it was obvious the only thing to say was ....... O.K, let's go, the night's still youngish,............ alittle past two forty according to my watch, we hadn't really gone all that far in relative terms and FU*KING AGAIN the "Charlie Sheen" did it's thing and i was feeling totally cool again, buzz'in but styl'in,....the juice and the doobie in the limo along with some Lindor white chocolate which was the bomb i might add, so i quickly let Otis know that we've gotta return to the mansion and if he can get us there fast that would be great! Maybe a sign that i was more fu*ked than i could tell, as this was a forty foot? long limosine, maybe longer and driving a vehicle of these dimesions at speed are only for the pro's of which Otis was one NO FU*K' IN DOUBT ABOUT IT!

We were back i swear to God before i'd even finished the spliff, i couldn't believe it, time and MDMA are strange bedfellows, it (time) can literally go so fast that it seems not to be true but oh it was as we pulled into the driveway and head for the circular exit point close to the main door.

 There's only one limo there this time and this is NOT your ordinary limo, whoever owns this has some bulk money, i'm pretty sure i already know what it is but i ask Otis  anyway if he knows what type of limo that is and he tells me "it's a Maybach seventy two stretch limousine", "no sh*t,........ how much does something like that cost" i ask, "about seven hundred thousand dollars American"! Bulk money was required to have a four wheeled work of craftsmanship like this and as we pull up behind it i can see the licence plate and what it has as it's number is this, "dashizl"!

 Now there's only one person who i know of who could one, have the money for a Maybach and two, "dashizl", that's Snoop Dogg's street talk for "the Sh*t", and he said he'd be here when i spoke to him earlier on, ............ well this is gonna be fun, Snoop's out for abit of a "sniff" tonight, escaped from the dog pound maybe who know's, our main concern now though is to get to Hef before he pulls the pin for the night! 

 

 

 

Posted by James DeWeaver on 12/12/12 | tags: #SnoopDogg #charliesheen australian generation x artist James DeWeaver time and mdma are strange companions




Rolling a good joint is a real Talent!

                                      To be read after "The Love Boat is dated now" for continuity in - 96 hrs. to L.A. and back!

 This wasn't good for me now, i was beginning to think that this was gonna be a big hit and miss for the night then Sonya mentioned that there's always the "after party" later on that very day,.......... shit, i had forgetten totally about the after parties, these were fairly low key and really a chill-out from the previous nights drugs that's what i've always thought them to be atleast!

 The "ladies" know that my energy levels are starting to fall and suggest that we just go back "home' and relax and i can go to bed after a Japanese hot bath and massage from them and we can all go to bed as they were both cool with that, they were there almost like "nurses" for me, they were able to do what i wasn't and their plan for the bath and massage which was totally unsolicited by myself sounded really good to me, and thinking for about two seconds........................then i pressed my little pager button to let Otis know we were ready to be picked up at the main entrance which we slowly proceeded to head towards, it wasn't far but i was really tired and the jet-lag was a killer! I was disappointed i hadn't caught up with him and as Sonya and Meredith keep telling me ..........."you'll see him tomorrow- don't worry about it, he'll understand and will be cool with it" which was of some relief and as i was in no real mind to offer any argument i just needed to get back and wipe-out for about twelve hours or so and i'll be right! We walk past a fairly inebriated character who's on a FOX program who's name i'll leave out other than "Greg" was "pissed as a knewt"! We head out and pass the security who probably could write up some good gossip on what happened here tonight NO DOUBT!

 We head out the door and like clockwork the Casull toting Otis has got the Limo there ready and waiting with the door open for us, the three of us practically fall through the door onto the large deep couch seats which this Limo has in it and does this feel good! I just melted into them and Meredith and Sonya onto me, we were all totally out of it, the MDMA was in FULL EFFECT now, and yeah i was heading back "home" but i knew from my past that there was a snowball's chance in hell that i'd be able to sleep................ well not atleast for another eight to ten hours, as the MDMA WON'T LET YA!, even if your totally hammered and tired the drug just keeps you awake, so the bath and the massage were gonna be what i was gonna need to FULLY come down and relax, as too Sonya and Meredith.

 As we leave we reposition ourselves into a more realistic travelling mode, having the two of them on top of me now wasn't as comfortable as one would think. I grabbed my little bag of the  "Charlie Sheen" ganja and pass it to Sonya to make us all a spliff to remember as this was something which i never wanted to forget and never will once this story is finished and down in black and white which i hope your all enjoying and thank you for your participation!

 Meredith put the tunes on with the video, this was epic the screens came down from the underling in the roof then flattened out about midway down the limo and about five feet wide and four feet tall, with these psychedelic video's being played on them very mesmerizing and almost hypnotic, i was so fu*k'in spaced out by them and before i knew it Sonya's made a cracker of a "Trumpet" doobie, now she's was good, even as blitzed as she was and could still roll a doobie like that is a real "talent"!

 

Posted by James DeWeaver on 12/11/12 | tags: #charliesheen australian generation x artist James DeWeaver rolling a good joint is a real talent




The Love Boat is dated now!

                      To be read after "Vince Neil made Elvis look anorexic" for continuity in - 96hrs.to L.A. and back! -

 I have to admit i was at a slight advantage here at the party as most of these people were already known to me, well atleast their faces and their names were, and maybe a movie or television program they had been on, while i on the other hand was someone rather "anonymous" and unknown to all, aswell as having travelled all the way from Australia for the "gig" - which was a bonus for me as i would soon come to find out.

 I was having fun in a way just doing what we were doing though, going from place to place seeing things and new people that i would've never had the chance to do back home. The laugh Stiller and i had at Neil's expense was priceless and will be remembered fondly. As we were about to go our separate ways Ben asked "Well what are you doing now?", i turned to Sonya and was just about to tell Ben we were going to find Hef as we hadn't seen him yet as we had to make a quick entrance into the house as Bruce Jenner and Kim Kardashian were ahead of us............ and Jenner makes me want to throw up everytime i lay my eyes on him.

 Stiller laughed and then proceeded to ask if we'd like to come over to his table where his wife and a few others were, "Sure" i reply, looking at my watch it's almost quarter past two, haven't seen Hef YET, but what happy to go with Stiller and his group for awhile, he had a table off of the main area and we had many good laughs from Politicians to Pop stars, i tell Ben that i remember watching episodes of "The Love Boat" when i lived in America, and his father Jerry played roles on it which were ........... well at the time were very contemporary in regards to the humor and story themes, but watching them today makes them look EXTREMELY dated and SO fu*king uncool!

 Stiller was doing well, totally sober as was his wife, but Ben had lived in L.A. long enough to know that i was pretty fu*k'in out of it, but he also knew that i'd flown from OZ, halfway around the world that is, and had slept about five hours since my arrival, the fact that i was an Artist would all add up to Stiller not giving two sh*ts about my intoxication, hell i told him about the bada*s "Charlie Sheen" we'd been smoking before we even arrived, on top of the "tripstasy/ MDMA we'd had at the house.

 We only briefly talk, time was not a luxury, Hef doesn't stay up all night anymore, sh*t he's eighty who'd expect him too, i'll be lucky to see the night through, fu*k ....... i haven't stayed up all night for atleast a decade myself and i'm less than half his age! I get his phone number as he'd like to talk to me again before i head back home, AND "when i've got a clear head" is how he referred to it as, totally PC, i was fully fu*ked!

 After saying our goodbye's and getting his number entered into my phone we depart into the whirlpool of people again, this was becoming a really active night, we kept bouncing from place to place in search of............. but Hef was nowhere yet to be seen, now all i see is people, then i see the butt,.......... not just any butt, it's the one that follows around Kim Kardashian, and who's with Kim apart from Bruce Jenner? HEF!! 

 Sh*t, i'm gonna wait on this one i think, Sonya tells me that Hef's been trying to get Kim to pose nude in Playboy and up until now she's refused. Most of the girls who've posed in Playboy aren't pulling in sixty million a year i'm think'in were as Kim is, Playboy use to be the starting point for young models, broke young models, now Kim was neither so getting this "virginal" and "pure" Kardashian to maybe show her breasts or derriere was going to be Hef's Everest!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and was left wih the impression that Ben Stiller is genuinely a "good bloke".  

Posted by James DeWeaver on 12/10/12 | tags: the love boat is dated now James DeWeaver australian generation x artist




Vince Neil made Elvis look anorexic!

                                   To be read after "Jesse James ISN'T a Tough guy" for continuity.

  Sonya really had knowledge in someway on just about everyone we came across, she was young but beyond her years when it came to this lifestyle, and was the "perfect" match for me as a "companion" this night, Meredith was an added bonus thanks to the "Noh" crew being unable to attend to to their inebriation on the "green fairy", never mind their loss and my gain, i'm glad about that anyway, Yakuza aren't known for their "gentlemen" like behaviour when it comes to a female when they've paid for her!

 Another thing i was glad to have with me that night was my dictaphone, it's voice-activated and recorded everything, if i didn't have this with me i would've never been able to write the recollections of a very wild night here and now.

 After we left Glen we moved along the underground in the tunnel system until we arrived at the exit point and the entry point for the bowling alley. Sonya tells us to have a seat at this table which looked like the one in Happy Days at Al's, red leather upholstery, check red and white table top, look seriously out of place down here, she say's just sit down and wait, we all sit down and Sonya reached for the Pepper shaker and then pulled it forward and in doing so the table did a rapid one hundred and eighty degree turn and from being in the tunnels system to now what looks like the inside of a "Fifties" style burger joint with everything in here being authentic to that time period. Just incredible, this looks like something caught in a "timewarp"!

 The place is completely empty, Sonya tells us that this hasn't been in use for many years now, no explanation was given. Too bad i'm thinking, this place was TOTALLY cool with all the authentic memoribilia.  This was right near the bowling alley and as we exit the "burger joint" we begin to see people coming and going from the alley, we could be too late Sonya thinks, Hef doesn't stay anywhere too long nowadays she tells us,"he's ALWAYS on the go" which come to some surprise to me as the blokes in his eighties now!

 She was right, we had been too late, the only person who i saw actually bowling was a porky looking Vince Neil, a failed lead singer for the band Motley Crue, a real "hair band" with Neil leaving the band in nineteen nintey two after years of chronic drug, alcohol and fast food abuse, leaving Neil obese and would make Elvis in his "fat" years look mildly anorexic!

 "I don't wanna stay down here with that fat fu*khead" i emphatically tell Sonya, she agree's and we're soon back on our way with everyone else this time in leaving Neil to bowl all he wants BY HIMSELF! i noticed Ben Stiller was walking next to me and we had a laugh about Vince Neil and his "bowling"! i'd never met Ben before but we had a good laugh a Neil's expense, it seems i wasn't the only one who disliked Neil with a passion, Stiller had some less than favorable remarks which i won't re-print here although i will say they were brutal!

The four of us walked together back outside talking and laughing the whole way out, ya see Ben is funny as fu*k, a TRUE comedian as i would imagine Robin Williams to be, well atleast when he was in his natural prime, ........which is about twenty years ago now, last time i saw him on David Letterman he was about as funny as "root canal"!

 

 

Posted by James DeWeaver on 12/8/12 | tags: vince neil made elvis look anorexic australian generation x artist James DeWeaver




Jesse James ISN'T a Tough guy!

                    To be read after "It was like Glee had come to life" for continuity in - 96 hrs. to L.A. and back!-

  This "underground monorail" was so cool, we can just as easily walk down a flight of stairs, hop into this little monorail rig and be over to the Main House in about ten seconds flat! We'd already done this before except this time we were one down, so Meredith and i took the backseat this time while Sonya did the "driving", huh, all she really did was push forward a gear which engaged the magnets and we were off, moving on the monorail silently that is, and we were all MORE THAN OFF, "we were almost as fu*ked as you can get and still walk and talk"!

 We go by the "Half Way" and i look over and see someone who hadn't been there my last time by or i didn't see him, which was what i wished had happened this time around, as Jesse James, that clown and "really" tough motorcyle rider, mechanic whatever the fu*k he does i could care less, the more i find out about him the more comprehensively i understand what a completely scummy dude he really is!

 I'm NOT talking about the way he treated Sandra Buttock when he had that sex session with that fully body tattooed modern day circus freak, OH NO NOT ME, it's Jesse and this "outlaw" facade that this man persists on going to the point of a characiture with! Does he really think he's a BADA*S? Does he really think the hype of his more infamous relative and all of his thirteen robberies or attempts is something to be proud of?

 I'm not sure, if he is or was such a "tough guy" why didn't he ever win the UFC World Championship, or even fight Chuck Lidell or Ken Shamrock or the greatest of them all Randy Couture even once? WHY NOT JESSE?

 "The bandana across the forehead down over the eyebrows is "SO" fu*king nineteen eighty five it's not even funny"! I remember seeing Mike Muir, lead singer for the Suicidal Tendancies on Donahue circa nineteen eighty five wearing his bandana like that, with Jello Biafra,Dead Kennedy's, Wendy O Williams from the Plasmatics and some FU*KHEAD named Bob DeMoss, who swore on live television obscene words, from a Fundamentalist Christian group called "Focus on the Family", NOW THERE'S a fanatical bunch of Christian do-gooders if i've ever seen one! I hoped he (Jesse James) stayed there, at the "Half Way" that is, NOT in nineteen eighty five although that would be good know doubt!!

 We passed by then Sonya slowed down and asked this really well dressed guy with long sandy blonde hair who looked like an old rocker if he "wanted a ride" at which point he turned around and immediately recognized Sonya and gave her a big ole' smile with brilliant white teeth flashing.  Seeing this it was obvious they knew each other from sometime in the past as Sonya say's "hop on in Glen, i want you to meet two good friends of mine" We're introduced shook hands and as he sat down in the car with us he put his arm around Sonya's shoulder in a familial way. 

Glen has a very strong south London accent from what i'm hearing, maybe Greenwich area, very distinctive, and to see if my guess is correct i asked Glen where abouts in England he was born, (as this is where their accents are "native" too, he could live anywhere in the world but his "native" accent still retains sounds only spoken in his regional dialect), just for the hell of it as i tell him my mother was born in the U.K. aswell which is true.

 "Blackheath" he replied and started to talk to Sonya for all of about five seconds until we got to the main house "station". I was not far off in my guess as Blackheath is about a mile or so away from Greenwich. We get out and say goodbye to him as he went one way while we go the other, "ya know who that was don't you"? Sonya asks me, "Yeah,..... that was Glen" as i reply to her obvious question,  she says in an almost condescending way, "that wasn't just Glen, that was "Glen Tipton, Grammy Award winning Guitarist from Judas Priest,....... that Glen!" Well i didn't know, how was i to know that was Glen Tipton from Judas Priest"?Sure they were huge when i lived in America, but that was nineteen eighty four!

Posted by James DeWeaver on 12/6/12 | tags: jesse james isn't a tough guy James DeWeaver australian generation x artist sandra bullock.#FreeJesseJames




It was like Glee had come to life!

                                             To be read after "I was like walking on the Moon" for continuity.

  I was starting to get REALLY energetic after my brief but needed break and said to the ladies let's go have a boogie, there were DJ's there who were just outstanding, both in technique and sounds, total "Worldies"! We had a dance which i might add was something special, not only was i dancing with Sonya and Meredith, but with other people who were only seen by myself prior on the Television or the movie screen, there were some older groovers like Helen Hunt and "Weird" Al Yankovic having an "attempt" at dancing, Al was so fu*king over the top it was hilarious, aswell as a whole group of twenty somethings, apparently these were the "kids" of the older invited guests. It's like Glee had come too life here, all types, when you live in a community like these "kids" do and have all their life, reality is never part of the picture, i know this oh too well growing up in a town like Westport Ct.

 These kids have in most not all but most cases have very little "expectation" placed on them in life as their parents are in general very wealthy, the father is often in a very prominent and important position in the culture with little or no time to be around a growing and impressionable youth and in this environment these kids "go feral", they are brought up their entire lives with this life already in place, a kind of cage, as they know that if they stick to the "program" do well in school, go to an Ivy League College etc, etc, and then they too will also be able to lead a very insulated and priveleged lifestyle and be able to live in affluent places like Westport or Greenich.

 These kids party hard, live too fast and in some tragic endings die way too young, sons and daughters of the "famous"...... special people, atleast that's what the culture says. Many clearly are just like the three of us so we all join in to what is a really random mix of the famous, some infamous and some really just twisted characters you'd only see in L.A.

 This was wild but we or should i say that i was really ready to move on and continue on the mission. We wrap up when Sonya get's a phone message, Hef's P.A. , Sonya tells me she wanted to know where abouts we were, and that Hef was heading down to go bowling and that it might be a good time to see him. Hef was a bigtime bowler, well atleast when he was younger, but the Mansion has it's own bowling alley, and Sonya tells me that she knows the shortcut from here and grabs my hand i already had Merediths and we head to the main house via the garden shed! I said garden shed and that's what it was, ya see we were at THAT point in time as far from the main house as you could get, there were probably five to eight hundred people here and there was a snowball's chance in hell that we'd be able to get to see Hef if we had to walk there.

 So in back of the tennis court we enter what in the end in just another "station" for the underground monorail, when we got onto this the first time we were about halfway, now we were at the "Coney Island" end of the line.This was a great idea, if Sonya wasn't with me forget it, NO CHANCE, she really was a major help the whole time. She codes into the wall her password and we are in! The false wall slides open revealing the familiar downward stairs like before. We go in and the automatic door closes behind us. The stairs have a red glow until we hit platform level then the multi-colored lights re-appear, WHAT A TRIP!

Posted by James DeWeaver on 12/4/12 | tags: weird al yankovic can't dance James DeWeaver australian generation x artist weird al helen hunt




I was like "walking on the Moon"!

                    To be read after "A Jackson Pollock like style in Beer and Faeces" for continuity in - 96 hrs. to L.A. and back!

  I was just about done with the doobie and feeling alittle more aware, focused maybe, but as soon as i was finished Sonya say's "there he is!" as she points we look and sure enough there he was alright, the only problem is we were up here and he was down there, surrounded by about three hundred people.

  The ladies and i quickly head off the same way we got up here and are through and down the building in what seemed to be five seconds flat, it couldn't of possibly been that quick but we, or should i say me, was so fu*king high at this point in time it felt like i was "moon walking"!

 This was radical, a feeling of being as light as a feather, and the colors of the attention drawing laser lights and their projections instantly grab my attention as soon as we step out into the night again.

  Now this is when the "trip" totally came on, i guess with the reefer and the excitement of running through and down the building, my heart rate increased and pumped more blood through my body again, "ya gotta move when your on these you just can't sit and do nothing" this is exactly why you see so many people continuously dancing at "dance parties", their just keeping the drugs circulating through their bodies!

 Though truly wasted i'm still completely lucid, and as we go through what looks like an "after party" for the Oscars, there's famous people left and right, some who were more fu*ked than me, i was atleast still able to walk and talk somehow, but i felt like i was in a strange sort of Disneyland gone triple XXX!

 We were able to get a rough bearing on where Hef was from our position above, NOW all we had to do was somehow get to where he was last. We walked by a couple of older women, not quite Hef's age but not far off, who looked like they'd seen the same butcher, i mean "plastic" surgeon as Bruce "fu*k'in" Jenner, ........... these women really did look like aliens and weird old ones at that!!

  It always amazes me when i come here to see what some people will do to themselves by way of cosmetic surgery in a vain attempt to peel back the years and years in their life when they weren't or couldn't be what they desired too be, and in a final act of self mutilization they rid the old shame filled former self with a completely new "plastic" and shallow artificial self in the place of the old shattered former self persona,........... for these unfortunate people never will see who they were and what they were meant too be and look-like, Mickey Rourke would be the "Poster" guy for this kind of personality inversion in my opinion.

 He was not here, but Bruce Willis was, now there's a man who's really seen the WILD SIDE of life! From what i was told about Bruce was that he was "the" man in the seventies who had THE best drugs going, especially LSD, don't know why exactly, but he was the sh*t when it came to Acid in L.A. this is only "alleged", i'm not saying it's true for legality!

 The closer we got to where we thought Hef was, i began to hear accoustic, unplugged guitars and singing, i recognize the song but am not able to tell you which one although i do remember it's a song sung by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers(incredible name for a rock band). I can see my way over the heads of most of the guests here tonight and in doing so can see Flea, the bassist for the RHCP, who i might add was born in Australia, bopping away like he always does when he's playing his killer bass, and Anthony next to he singing, just the two of them, they were really having fun as was i for i was here, not just here,................ BUT was "totally fu*ked off my face as well"!

  

 

Posted by James DeWeaver on 12/2/12 | tags: i was like walking on the moon australian generation x artist James DeWeaver




A Jackson Pollock like style in Beer and Faeces!

                     To be read after "Steve-O had a tube up his butt there" for continuity in- 96 hrs. to L.A. and back!

We're all fixated at this act of pure stupidity down below as i take a load off my feet to roll a nice bit of this Charlie Sheen bud up into an epic spliff. We continue to watch as the crowd begins to build around Steve-O as he's almost "downed" if that's the correct word for what i'm seeing this fruitcake act out in front of our very eyes, there must be sixty?.......eighty.?..... fu*k, there must be atleast eighty people NOT including us in this "beer slammer" too remember!

There,......... he just finished getting what i would guesstimate to be atleast two litres of beer forced by gravity up his "date"- What a fu*king MORON"! What sort of KNUCKLE-HEAD does such things?Taking a closer look at Steve-O..... he's really not looking too crash hot after this little experiment of a beer colonic, and in such obvious discomfort as you clearly would be if you had done this thing yourself at home which i DON'T recommend unless YOU ARE Steve-O! Everyone's REALLY beginning to laugh  really loudly at this modern day "Jester" for lack of a better word, and Steve-O really plays his part well!

He stood up and REALLY looks in a bad way, he actually didn't stand up straight or pull his pants up either, and so this blokes bent over ass out and co*k and balls out aswell as the lights flash and video phones record. What does he decide to do................... well Steve-O, the bright bloke he is suddenly begins to run after someone who was not known to any of the three of us around a function table until he'd(Steve-O) trapped the other bloke by the marquee canvas sides and the table, Steve-O quickly turned, bent over and dropped his pants and like a "rectal Howitzer" began to expel from his anus probably half of what he "swallowed" moment's prior in a matter of maybe two seconds at the very most........ and hitting the guy almost entirely from the waist up - including HIS FACE!

UN-BEFU*K'INLIEVABLE, aswell as leaving a "Jackson Pollock" like style of beer and faeces painting on the marquee canvas, except for where the dude was standing, it was.......... amazingly gross, just leaving a clean white silhouette of his presence around this brown discoloring,..well sh*t! I'll remember that, or more like will be unable to forget it as will the girls and anyone who witnessed this for i'd imagine a very long time, why he did that who the fu*k would know.......it's Steve-O, he'd be dumber than a forty pound sh*thammer!

 We're so grossed-out we completely get up and shift to the other side of the walk and i can tell you the Charlie Sheen has done it's job again, it REALLY DID give us a quick lift and really helped "kick back in" the MDMA bigtime, this was really good sh*t, compared to everything i'd ever had in the past i would've already peaked-out by now, but this was different, this was a "creeper" drug, it lured you in by making you think it wasn't strong when in fact it was really strong and can fu*k you up BIGTIME, i know the reality about this sh*t from experience!

This is the main problem with "creeper", with some people who don't know any better, they take it, wait twenty minutes and don't feel anything so they decide to TAKE ANOTHER even before the first one's had a chance to dissolve and circulate through their bodies and brain, and it's not until another twenty minutes or so later they feel the effects from the FIRST pill and it NOT being a DUD,..... when the second pill hits home man these kids minds are fully fu*k'in blown and it sure as fu*k wouldn't be fun or enjoyable i can assure you on that!

 

Posted by James DeWeaver on 12/1/12 | tags: James DeWeaver a jackson pollock like style in beer and faeces #charliesheen australian generation x artist charlie sheen




Steve-O had a tube up his butt there!

                                 To be read after "What did 50 Cent just say" for continuity in -- "96hrs. to L.A. and back"!

  After we passed by the passed out Dyrdek and friend, "What did they have anyway....... who the fu*k knows or cares" this place reminded me more of my older brothers Fraternity House.  There were what we call in Australia the "piss-heads" in here ,all failed party-goers, too much fun is never enough for some and these were only a small group of these unfortunate sods, as they are really gonna miss the BEST part of this party now, and the Party and the drugs are certainly heading the three of us in that direction!

 The MDMA we all had earlier has still not "peaked out" yet and we're all feel'in really good, and this is the point, NONE of us have had a drop of alcohol, all we've had is H2o and the "ladies" had a orange juice with soda, orange juice is too acidic for me so i had a cloudy apple juice,........ anytime you can take vitamin C in a drink like the ones we've had, will prolong the MDMA as the vitamin C and the "Eccy" combine in away which somehow enhance the delivery mechanism within the brain and a prolongation of sensation occurs.

 I shouldn't say this place reminded me of my older brother's Fraternity House, SEEING Dyrdek passed out there really is what reminded me of the Tau Kappa Epsilon Fraternity House my brother was a member of at a University in Ohio. This place was just as elaborate and well appointed as all the other places i had seen on the property which at this point really wasn't many. We were on a "mission" and as we headed upstairs to get a better or should i say a more "panoramic" perpective of who was below us and maybe the best way to navigate around or through the throng of people, the word must of gotten out as this place is starting to rage all around us as whipping by us down the flight of stairs was that fat kid from that television series which fired "GOOD OLE' CHARLIE SHEEN", that's right "Two and a half men",..........."What the fu*k is that little prick doing here"?

 "Who gives a FU*K!,.......... i didn't, but i'm glad i saw him for one reason and one reason only and that was that it reminded me that i still had probably a quarter ounce of the "good ole' Charlie Sheen" which i had brought with me just in case,................ and that case was close!

 Then a brunette with her tits flopping out of her top came charging down the stairs,......... the three of us back up and looked at each other and begin to crack up as this "sheila" was completely unaware of what was happening obviously or couldn't of given a sh*t, probably the latter there for sure, i mean it was only her tits flopp'in out, hell it's not like she was showing everyone her "beaver", although i wouldn't of been bothered or complained if she had,........ that's alright by me feel free, ............if she was feeling "compelled" to show me the "beav" oh well, gee that's REALLY gonna put me off partying NOT!!

 We don't head out to the verandah like i thought we were going to, instead Sonya takes us up to the very top of the building which has a "widow's walk" on the top. A very unique "widow's walk" as it's much broader than a usual one which is good for us as we now have the ultimate viewpoint to look for the nimble octagenarian Hef, who's bound to be the center of the action where-ever he is!

 This is a good time right about now to roll up a "Charlie Sheen" splifter, we're the only ones here of course and this locality allows us to look at everyone below and the musical entertainment at several venues on the grounds with the closest to us being Jon Mayer, figure he'd be fu*k'in here, not one of my favorite celebs by any means, but i'm not watching him...... fu*khead, i just wanna roll this doobie and come to some kind of level in my head, as the day had been very long for me at this point and i was not about to quit this, it was just that i needed to buzz-out abit with the "lovely ladies", what was going on down below could wait another fifteen minutes, what harm could that do?

 I can see from my vantage point that idiot Jacka*s Johnny Knoxville, now there's a total fu*kstick, i wouldn't go near that dude if you paid me, although HE would probably like the James Joyce book i have back where i'm staying, WE ALL KNOW Johnny like's the anal humor........... Christ i couldn't believe what the fu*k they show on that movie, people pretending to be volcano's and shitting an eruption! are you fu*k'in kidding me, since when does this pass for being funny, it's disgusting, and seeing Steve-O down below having a rubber tube up his rectum and "swallowing" a two litre jug of beer while people laugh and applaud as if it's the greatest thing they've ever witnessed! "What the hell", i'm sure as fu*k NO conservative Christian but i would think that this is really not quite acceptable behaviour except to the most deviant and perverse umongst us, people like Charles Ng and Leonard Lake, sicko's like this are people who'd think Knoxville's humour is funny! 

 

Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/30/12 | tags: steve-o had a tube up his butt there James DeWeaver australian generation x artist johnny knoxville #realjknoxville




What did "50 Cent" just say to me?

                                               To be read after "Robert Downey Jr. asked me?" for continuity.

 I decide to attack this problem of not being able to find Hef from a whole new angle and ask Sonya if we can get up somewehere above the crowd to see if we can catch an eye on the elusive Hef, if he's out here we should be able to see as i look up and point to the verandah on the second floor to Sonya .......she agree's and the three of us continue on our mission and as we do Richie Sambora from Bon Jovi, the very band which Wayne Isham did video's for and now he's here aswell,.......which thinking about it is no real surprise, he and Heather Locklear are no longer an item, he's a "Rock Star" with heaps of money should be no problem locating some quim here for ole' Richie i'd say, his two aren't as nice as mine though as he does take some notice as he rubbernecks passed the three of us, Sonya and Meredith were "Stunners" and Richie like any good dog could clearly see that!

 We get to the entrance of the building which is not the Mansion but an additional building/area for entertaining and the place is "completely chockers" ,full house big time, i'm thinking to myself and ask Sonya "what's going on in here any idea"?, she's got no idea so we begin again to make our way through pretty heavy going, there's Ben Folds and Beck having a chat or atleast trying to and that rather slutty American Actress Jennifer Tilley is here, she wore an outfit that really makes her look like a streetwalker tonight i can tell you, ............ she really is what's called in Australia an"old Shagger"!

 Meredith see's a good friend of her's from College and want's to go over and talk to her quickly, i've got no problems at all with that so we head over,.... she recognizes Meredith as her attention is diverted from this guy who had his head turned away from our direction, it wasn't until but three feet away the recognition of the guy hit home....."it was Fifty Cent, what's Fifty Cent doing here?take that back, man i take that back, looking at this fine honey colored angel he's talking to i know what he's doing here, as would any red blooded man with a pulse, and that was to be here tonight, there was atleast two to one girls to guys ratio tonight and clearly ole' Fifty heard the "call of the wild" and couldn't help himself!

 We only briefly talked......... i really had a hard time understanding him mumble, it may of been the "Ebonics" or something, but i have to say one thing here and now........... this guy may have tons of money but in reality is an under-educated thug who struck it lucky, he's had very good business advice from what i understand, i.e Vitamin water, which more importantly he's taken and has done well from those investments and diversified but still, just a product of a poor father-less ghetto upbringing and as i say, "you can take 50 out of the Ghetto, but ya can't take the Ghetto out a 50"!

 I want to move on PRONTO, this guy's starting to mumble way too much for me and it really becomes a task to interpret what the fu*k he's say'in so we jet as fast as we can past some totally legless and passed-out dude,.......Rob Dyrdek, a pro-skater apparently and (un-tripmanure, that's the way 50 Cent said "Entrepeneur"), now that's what i call "hardcore" passing-out at the Playboy Mansion at the "Save the Hollywood sign" Fundraiser, way too fu*king go Rob!. He may of been just tired and the half naked chick passed out on top of the guy,........funny as sh*t!, i took a couple of photo's for the hell of it, i'll e-mail them to him at a later date!

 

 

Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/29/12 | tags: what did 50 cent just say to me James DeWeaver australian generation x artist rob dyrdeck 50 cent #50cent #robdyrdek




Robert Downey Jr. asked me?

                                        To be read after "Shannon Tweed's see through top" for continuity.

  We'd only begun to hit the fringe of the real party-goers, it was still early and i'm starting to think the four of us together is abit of overkill, so i'm thinking of making it just a threesome and dropping of Sunshine with some unsuspecting partier!

 I see a guy with long blonde hair just coming back from this enormous buffet which has been laid out,(now i know why Rollin's is here.......free food!) he's got a pair of black sunglasses on and it's one thirty in the morning, he's totally cool! We stroll on over to him as he walks backs by himself through the crowd and i can't begin tell you exactly what i said to him, not that i don't want to tell you it's just i was fairly blitzed, but he had a big smile on his face after i had finished, a very stoked guy who was also in fact a very interesting person in the real world as i soon was to find out!

 I had no idea who he was when we first spotted him, but like most people here, Wayne was no recognizable celebrity, but he did work with alot of celebrities and knew most of them.

 Wayne Isham (pronounced eye-sham) was his name, and happened to be a very well known music video Director from the eighties really, Bon Jovi was the main band that Wayne did video's for, but he also did the AHA video, "Take on me" and created that form of animation which is seen in the video called "Ishamation".

 Sunshine's was totally in her element with Wayne who'd arrived "solo", and as we say goodbye to them both, we begin to shuffle our way through the denser and denser crowd, which from ground level you couldn't really tell how many people were here but there were sh*tloads!

 Who'd of thought that so many people wanted to save the "Hollywood"sign!

 NOT ME!, all these people were just here to party their butts off and meet really cool and interesting types, as there's a real variety of Artists present, not Artists like myself just Artist's in general, Writers, Poets,Thinkers, Playwrights, Directors, Visual Artists, Musicians, models, Photographers, creating a small but well connected group of modern day Bohemians which now had the oppurtunity to interact and form new contacts and maybe ultimately create or do something from this moment of intellectual "serendipity"!

 Wayne had told us before we left the two of them that Hef wasn't anywhere near the buffet, and he last saw Hef in a direction he pointed to, that was it, that was all we had so we began to slowly extricate ourselves from the mass of bodies, but the Playmate's are ALL OVER THE JOINT and love to grind which is fine by me as i'm really in no hurry, we just gotta find Hef and we're good to go then, bring it fu*k'in on i say the sooner the better!

 Robert Downey Jr. was just about to pass by when he looked right at me and asked me "How did i get so lucky?" and before i had a chance to reply he was already passed us in this deluge of humans moving in various directions,"that was weird, what exactly did he mean"?

 I didn't see him at all again the rest of the night, but he was right,.... i was sure fu*k'in lucky sport'in these two babes, my "companions", must of been Robert hadn't been so lucky and wanted to get in on my action, i never would of let him of course, i couldn't of given a fu*k who he was or is, the truth is if i had too, i would've slammed him if he'd of tried!

 That's important, treat these Celebrities just like anyone else, if your cool with them and aren't a "brown-noser"you'll get some respect, but if they show no respect to you, never show respect to them, "Act like an AS*HOLE, then you get treated like an AS*HOLE" is a good rule to go by with Celebrities!

 

 

 

Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/28/12 | tags: Robert Downey Jr. asked me James DeWeaver australian generation x artist wayne isham bon jovi #RobertJrDowney




Shannon Tweed's see through top!

                                     To be read after "I thought he was Chuck Norris" for continuity.

 Having Sonya there made everything just gel, when i was talking to people like Jean-Paul she'd just talk to the partner and in Jean-Paul's case his wife, it was easy for her as they both had been Playmates and could've probably spoken forever but she was mindful that i was there to mingle and meet people and would happily move from wherever we were to somewhere else if i'd wanted to.

 My main priority at this point was to catch up with Hef, when your at the Playboy Mansion it would only be common sense to do this first, so i let Sonya know we gotta find Hef -she agree'd with me on that, the only problem is we didn't know where he was exactly so we'd have to wander around and mingle until we could find him.

 We head outside  to the large marquee's which are set up and there are TONS of people out here, well atleast many many more than are inside. I start to recognize some of the "new" Hollywood and the "old" Hollywood, i don't know their names in some cases like that guy from Spiderman, Toby something or other i think,well he was there talking with Tom Cruise's ex-wife, didn't know her name but Sonya helped fill in the blank, ya see i'm not really big on this corporate movie actor situation which has been going on, so i don't really ever see these insipid creations modelled to entertain the most stupid people in the culture in many cases, as then it will also appeal apparently to kids, who always love to see adults act like retards and are then mocked and riddiculed by their "on-screen actor children", and then when these little kids have seen "this" actor child do it on the movie screen and can't differentiate reality and fiction it then becomes o.k. for them to act like this in real life to their real parents,......... why not, everyone laughed inside the theatre when it happened didn't they, huh and we wonder why children today have little to no respect for anyone other than themselves. If it were possible to have a more self-centered and selfish generation than the "Baby Doomers" i would of thought not possible, but it's become apparent they've past these genes on through to the next generation.

 I've got no real desire to talk to people who i've little or no respect for here at the "Fundraiser" tonight and i made that perfectly clear to Sonya earlier on. I have standards as all of us do, and i'm not here to entertain i'm here for fun, as i see to my immediate left a group sittting down and are all focused on one particular person, that being a Mr.Henry Rollins, "Now there's someone i'd listen to, when Henry speaks people listen, why's that?

 Mr. Rollins is as straight forward as it gets when it comes to talking the true, high speed low bullsh*t factor truth straight up!

When it comes to Henry and him telling the truth i think this is one of his greatest personality assets which i can relate to very much and appreciate it aswell. Now here's one dude(Henry wouldn't like me calling him a dude, but i'm being respectful about it!) who's seen the "real world" unlike many others, growing up in D.C., seeing his good friend getting shot in the head by the Police, being at the epicentre of the American Punk scene when there WAS a Punk scene, he watched Independent Record labels get swallowed up by the Corporations, which at last put the final nail in the coffin for the independents and any really creative musical acts and genius musicians who were ahead of their time) i'd stop and listen to him but Sonya's caught her eye on Hef who's somewhere i didn't catch, but i did catch Hallie Berry, what a "Glamour" she was,... not that young anymore and has had acouple of pups but can still "SCHWING",....... hey Gene Simmons from KISS and Shannon Tweed, who still was sporting if i don't says so myself just a huge set of juggs with nipples poking,... the see through top "highlighted" them superbly, no surprise there as Shannon was a Playmate aswell back in the eighties, her picture "SPREAD" with bush was back in the tunnel, but i have to say that Gene Simmons looked truly awful, white as a ghost with dyed black hair and the worst plastic looking facelift since Liza Minelli's Ex David Guest "horror face"-just a shocker-! 

Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/26/12 | tags: shannon tweed's see through top James DeWeaver australian generation x artist playboy hefner henry rollins hallie berry




I thought he was Chuck Norris!

                                   To be read after "Ferris Bueller wouldn't even know" for continuity.

 We get up the landing steps to what looks to me like some sort of maze as there are three directions to go and according to Sonya each will take you to a different part of the mansion, and as we were going to where the "Fundraiser" was going on we needed to go left.

 This labyrinth of underground elaborate tunnels was truly something to wonder at, as these are the same types of tunnels that dictators like Ghaddafi and Saddam Hussein had underneath their Mansions aswell, but i'm sure they didn't have what was all along these walls that's for sure, minge from end to end, the "ladies" could care less their not offended or bothered in anyway by the "Art" either am i it's totally eye-popping!

 As these are secret tunnels and exits we want to come out as close to the party as possible without giving away the location on what the outside would NOT see as an exit and then possibly giving away it's "secret" location. Sonya decides that we'll exit inside the reading room as this would not be a place where any of the people there would likely be. Sure enough when we get to the "jump off" point no one is there and we open the door and find ourselves inside a very elaborate and incredibly well appointed vast library, with works which were to good or too valuable to have in the house i was staying at without a doubt, i saw an original Gutenberg printed manuscript by the man himself, the man credited for the printing press! We stay a mere few seconds and then head out the door into a darkened corridor which leads us to the cacophony and bright lights of the Fundraiser.

 We get some water and mingle around and strike-up conversations with almost anyone, this was like eveyone dropped their external fake image of themselves (ego) and was just basically themselves apart from only a few exceptions i was to find out during the night!

 I was not the only "NON CELEBRITY" there aswell, i met a guy named Jean-Paul and his super glamourous wife who's name i no longer can remember but she was a total honey AND a former Playboy bunny twenty odd years ago hence her being here tonight with her husband Jean-Paul. We had a really cool talk about many many topics all of which he was exceptionally well informed on all of them as far as i was concerned, he was if you just looked at him nothing special, looked abit like Chuck Norris to me that's why i initially went over to talk to him...........your not about to recognize him if you saw him but guess what, Jean-Paul just happens to be THE GUY behind the Paul Mitchell brand of all kinds of hair products and is worth many BILLIONS, and to top it off, when he found out how long i was in town for and what i did for a living, aswell as why i had been invited to the "Fundraiser", he and his wife then invited me to come over to their Malibu place and have lunch and maybe have a look at a space on the wall which they haven't quite been able to come to an agreement on, what should go there basically and maybe i could perhaps do something for the space, cool, no worries, i couldn't believe it another possible commission and an invite to another over the top billionaires Mansion, all twelve thousand square feet of it if my memory serves me correctly,.....unreal.... the day before i leave is when i go to see Mr. J.P. Dejoria and his wife!

Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/24/12 | tags: jean paul dejoria australian generation x artist James DeWeaver i thought he was chuck norris




Ferris Bueller wouldn't even know!

                                           To be read after "Why was Fred Durst there" for continuity.

  It's not long before we see another monorail car heading towards us on the track next to ours, didn't recognize any of them,.... the redhead in the g-string bikini was quite impressive though and VERY memorable!

 We soon get to the "station" we needed to get off at although there were tracks leading further along, these would remain a mystery for now, this place could be like the underground in Paris, where you can go below ground and wander around the sub-terranean tunnels and catacombs which are as old as Paris, a totally wild time and if you ever get the oppurtunity to have a look- only with a good guide though- then go for it, just like i'm doing now with Sonya and the two tag alongs.

  Sonya is my key too not being looked at all night like i'm someone suss or out of place........as i would be,  these people are way out of my league i'll be the very first, second and third to tell you that, but I was here as an Invited guest, and i had my very own special little Playboy pin with a diamond eye as subtle proof to any security that i was in fact a guest and NOT to be hassled. In the end it was better for me that i wasn't a recognised "Celebrity" as i was later to find out all through the night!

We have to go through a similar glass door arrangement and inside to my left i see a Playboy with what looks like to me atleast Arabic writing underneath the Playboy Brand, i ask Sonya about this and it is the version which is sold in places like Iran and Saudi Arabia, "no shit i had no clue about that, i would of thought something like this would be a good enough cause to get a Mullah revved up enough too get the secret Police to "disappear" the most unfortunate person getting caught with it!

 I've been to this region of the world, which country will remain anonymous for now as i'd like to be able to return someday, but in short i was staying along the coast in a rather large modern city in a high rise building five star hotel, a safe place for foreigners no fu*k'in doubt as this one morning i was woken by what sounded to me atleast like a riot of some kind going on not far from my building, i got out of bed proceeded to put some more clothes on and grab my video camera to see if i could film anything interesting, like maybe a riot!

 It wasn't a riot at all in the end, i slowly opened my door to my verandah and crouched down as low as i could to avoid detection for any on-lookers and slowly bellied out to a point where i could see something i would never forget!

 It was a large angry crowd alright,-- three maybe four hundred men and little kids mainly and they all encircled three men who clearly had their hands taped or bound atleast and were the center of THIS MOB'S anger, the Police were there aswell and were mere observers to what was about to take place.

 These three men were lead, as they were all either beaten up or drugged, something, but they arrived at a flat concrete circle right near the waterside, a very large concrete cirle maybe twenty five meter radius in clear view to the public or ANYONE like myself who was yet to see what Sharia Law does to it's criminals!

 They were placed in the center of this described circle and forced to kneel upon which EVERYONE cleared the circle, an Arena it now had become and the blood thirsty viewers all had their front row seats awaiting the "kick off", and they weren't long disappointed.

A large white limousine slowly pulls up from nowhere as i'm videoing this and am totally focused on this action. I focus on this car to what this has to do with this and as i do i see through my video display a really tall Negro man get out with a reeeaaaallllyyyyy fu*k'in long sword, it was probably about four feet long for my guess-timation, and it wasn't really until i saw him walk through a very quickly parting crowd that his true giant size became apparent. He was a very black black negro man i have no idea about him other than this, he was ATLEAST seven feet tall, as he was atleast two feet taller than ANYONE in this entire crowd and i've got the video to prove it. He' dress entirely in white, and a white head piece and a long sword which every now and then catches the sun and flickers it's brilliant light my way.

 He eventually arrives at the centre of the circle, by now these three are seperated by about five feet or so and all of them have their hands behind their back with their heads bend down. The crowd has gone silent upon this man arrival and there's very good reason for which which all about to seeing in an archaic form of justice in the modern day atleast as seen by a Westerner.

 This big negro man proceeded to circle them one time and then arrive to a stopping point behind the first of his duties. He lifted the sword one time vertically then very slowly tapped on the doomed mans right shoulder on which this man quickly lifted his head up and in one clear swoop with this giant negro's sword it was FU*KING OFF, body went one way with blood just flowing out and the head unded up about three feet away...........some fu*k'in way to start the new day.

  How many people reading this now knew that Playboy was sold in markets like the ones i've mentioned .............anyone.............anyone............Bueller...............Buelller, Not even Ferris Bueller would of known that and if you said you knew about it your one in a million!

 

 

 

Posted by James DeWeaver on 11/23/12 | tags: ferris bueller wouldn't even know James DeWeaver australian generation x artist





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