In anticipation of and celebration in the numeric vortex/cultural angst that is 12/21/2012—as in THE long-awaited 2012, written in boldface, all caps and with the force of a psychic tattoo unleashing bangs, whimpers, revelations, light, darkness, questions, answers and disappointments of the profoundest nature—Phil E(p)stein gave a twelve-hour lecture from the moment that the Mayan calendar ends, at the strike of midnight, until the rapturous light of noon on December 21, 2012.
Like all of E(p)stein’s lectures, this one traded in half truths, map routes, hazy conjectures, lazy lectures, mathematical certainties, magical emergencies, producing unvarnished histories and seducing our times’ deepest mysteries. As per the tyrannical demands of social media and crowd sourcing, the audience was encouraged to rate E(p)stein’s talk as he spokes and he would see a live graph of people’s approval during the lecture, adjusting course accordingly.
The following topics were discussed: What is the essence of all truth? Is parking validated? How does one engage in a meaningful life? Does blank graph paper contain moon runes waiting to be decoded? (Answer: no it doesn’t.) Will snacks and/or drinks be provided? What is meant by the prophecy, “reverse mysticism shall lead one through the gates of double happiness”? Why, exactly, is Earth on fire? Isn’t a twelve-hour lecture too long? And do I have to stay the entire time? What is a phase shift? Is this the transition to what the Sikhs call “Kali Yuga” and what Hesiod saw as The Iron Age, the Hopi saw as the emerging fifth world wherein we would all be connected by a “web,” the Mayans saw as the emergence of Niribu, what Nostradamus saw as the great change and what the Hindis describe as Kalki, the final incarnation of Vishnu, ushering in cataclysmic enlightenment? (Answer: not exactly.) How does one replenish internal flora?
E(p)stein didn’t want to give too much away before the lecture, which was the product of years of focused research cut with months of intentional under-preparing, deleting notes, and underlining insignificant sentences. But he assured us that what was was by no means your garden-variety apocalypse. Subtle nuances await. The planets will literally align, the Kundalini will shiver up your spine and E(p)stein’s limber mind will navigate the winds of change during his riveting opus, which contained thirteen hours of information crammed into twelve short hours of disturbing fun.
(Image on top: Phil E(p)stein.)